Good evening everyone,
I always look forward to getting The Hockey News in the mail every week. I relish the chance to read the stories and interesting anecdotes to see how I can relate them to stuttering. Those who know me would definitely say I am a huge hockey fan, if not a fanatic. But sometimes you read an article and you have to step back and wonder, "What the !@$!#!@#$! was this person thinking?" As a person who stutters, I am learning (and continue to learn) how to make my words count and exercise my control to not let my stuttering become a flaw for others to exploit, which I could not do for a long time.
There was an article written about the effort to put together the Olympic hockey team from Finland. In 2010, the National Hockey League will shut down to allow their players to represent their native countries in the quest for Olympic gold in Vancouver. If you ever have the chance to hear a former athlete speak about their greatest triumphs, chances are strong that you may hear them reflect on what a special honor it was to represent their country and compete at the highest level. However, there was an anecdote that made me look twice, and realize: If there were ever someone who needed an attitude adjustment, it was this guy I am about to talk about.
Miikka Kiprusoff is the goalie for the Calgary Flames. A good, steady netminder, but nothing approaching superstar status, although he did play in a Stanley Cup Final. He stated he wanted to be the number one choice to represent his country-nothing wrong with that, showing the competitive juices. Then, according to author Edward Fraser, in November, he stated either he'd be labeled the starter-or he'd stay home over the break. There are many descriptions I could use to describe that, and needless to say, the coach of the team, Jari Kurri, didn't take that comment too kindly. "The players don't make the decisions. The coaches do," he said.
The one thing I have tried and consistently stressed about my stuttering is the desire and the requirement to have a good attitude. With that comment, can you blame anyone for saying "I'll take my chances with someone else?"
I tried to visualize this scenario as to how it might have played out in high school or college. I saw myself asking to participate in an event, and here is the response: "Sure, Steven you can play, but you can't stutter." Or something to the effect of, "Yes, you can play, but you can't speak to the referee or anyone else." I can control many things. I can't control if I have a good speech day or a bad one. I can't control the locking of my vocal chords when I am trying to say what I want. I can control my ATTITUDE.
We all make decisions in our life and we must live with the consequences. And for one Miikka Kirpusoff, if he decides not to participate, that is his right. But I guarantee you long after he retires, he will not be remembered for what he did on the ice. He'll be remembered for not wanting to care about others enough. I will never put myself above the NSA Nation or anyone else because I care about others! We who stutter have a very special bond that must never be broken, and that bond is to be celebrated every day.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Saturday nights with the NSA Nation......
Good evening everyone,
The cold winds are upon us, and for many around the world, this is the best time of year. The Christmas lights are up, the menorahs are soon to be lit, and for once, it seems like everyone has a spring in their step, a smile on their face, and maybe a little more patience than they used to. However, that isn't always true, given the way things are in the world-high unemployment, frustrations in finding a job, wondering when the next chapter of our lives will be starting.
On Saturday, Dec. 5, I had the honor of getting together with my peers for an NSA holiday party. The Manhattan (New York County) chapter for the past two years, has hosted a get-together which is open to anyone who stutters, regardless of chapter affiliation. Last year, I made a suggestion that it would be a great idea to make it an inter-chapter gathering, and that was accepted. This year, we invited those from Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Central Jersey to attend. Unbeknownst at the time, we were about to be greeted by a mixture of snow and slush, but even though the calendar read December, for me it might as well have been a special version of Thanksgiving because I was with those who get me.
There's something special about seeing the smile of a teammate who you don't always get to see that often, the genuineness of a handshake and catching up on old times and seeing what has been going on. Sometimes the news is great, other times not so much. But you still embrace the camaraderie that is there. I met so many new members who were thrilled at the chance to meet others who were walking in the same shoes we walked in, facing the same challenges we do on a daily basis. And over barbecued chicken and chili, we laughed, we chatted, we had become so close in an amazingly short amount of time.
The night we held our party, the NSA chapter in the Bay Area (San Francisco) held their holiday party, which I thought had an excellent title: "Eat, Drink, and Be M-M-Merry." How poetic was it that on both sides of the country, with 3,000 miles separating each other, these two chapters held their own events. Yet all over the U.S., there were many chapters hosting holiday parties and getting together in their own way to showcase the spirit of what the NSA Nation really is.
I can say that I don't always get to the city often. Most of my life is concentrated on Long Island, and I am a suburbanite-every time I exit the Long Island Railroad at Pennsylvania Station and go up the escalator, I am still awestruck at the skyscrapers and wonder how I find myself there. But taking the 10:52 back home, and passing some of the skyline, I have to say when you find yourself alone, when you have the worst speech day possible and nothing just goes according to plan, you know that you aren't. You're a citizen of the NSA Nation. We all are. And that is the best feeling in the world.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
The cold winds are upon us, and for many around the world, this is the best time of year. The Christmas lights are up, the menorahs are soon to be lit, and for once, it seems like everyone has a spring in their step, a smile on their face, and maybe a little more patience than they used to. However, that isn't always true, given the way things are in the world-high unemployment, frustrations in finding a job, wondering when the next chapter of our lives will be starting.
On Saturday, Dec. 5, I had the honor of getting together with my peers for an NSA holiday party. The Manhattan (New York County) chapter for the past two years, has hosted a get-together which is open to anyone who stutters, regardless of chapter affiliation. Last year, I made a suggestion that it would be a great idea to make it an inter-chapter gathering, and that was accepted. This year, we invited those from Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Central Jersey to attend. Unbeknownst at the time, we were about to be greeted by a mixture of snow and slush, but even though the calendar read December, for me it might as well have been a special version of Thanksgiving because I was with those who get me.
There's something special about seeing the smile of a teammate who you don't always get to see that often, the genuineness of a handshake and catching up on old times and seeing what has been going on. Sometimes the news is great, other times not so much. But you still embrace the camaraderie that is there. I met so many new members who were thrilled at the chance to meet others who were walking in the same shoes we walked in, facing the same challenges we do on a daily basis. And over barbecued chicken and chili, we laughed, we chatted, we had become so close in an amazingly short amount of time.
The night we held our party, the NSA chapter in the Bay Area (San Francisco) held their holiday party, which I thought had an excellent title: "Eat, Drink, and Be M-M-Merry." How poetic was it that on both sides of the country, with 3,000 miles separating each other, these two chapters held their own events. Yet all over the U.S., there were many chapters hosting holiday parties and getting together in their own way to showcase the spirit of what the NSA Nation really is.
I can say that I don't always get to the city often. Most of my life is concentrated on Long Island, and I am a suburbanite-every time I exit the Long Island Railroad at Pennsylvania Station and go up the escalator, I am still awestruck at the skyscrapers and wonder how I find myself there. But taking the 10:52 back home, and passing some of the skyline, I have to say when you find yourself alone, when you have the worst speech day possible and nothing just goes according to plan, you know that you aren't. You're a citizen of the NSA Nation. We all are. And that is the best feeling in the world.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
How do you feel about stuttering and dating?
Good evening everyone,
I wanted to use this edition of the blog to discuss an interesting experience I recently had online in a chat room. I am going to be turning 32 next year, and like many of my peers, would like to get into the dating game. Some take the road less traveled, with many bumps along the way, like I have done. Hindsight as they say is always 20/20, but if I knew then what I knew now I probably would have not done half the stupid things in high school and college. I've always been attracted to the Internet when it comes to meeting new people. It's really an oxymoron, but I do much better on the Internet than in real life, one-to-one conversations. Needless to say, you can't hide behind a computer your whole life, but I can admit that the online world of dating can help "level the playing field" when it comes to being a teammate who stutters. Thankfully, the NSA Nation has been a godsend in helping me grow not just socially, but professionally as well.
Recently I was in a "thirties love" chat room on AOL, and chatting with a young woman from the Chicago suburbs. We were discussing the usual things: where we live, what we like to do, and I of course mentioned my incredible love of my life and the greatest passion I have, which is working for the National Stuttering Association. Things were going pretty well and then I heard the dreaded "goodbye" from AOL. It's all right, I told myself, she'll be back in a few minutes. She never did.
I recently signed up for Match.com a few months ago and decided to do something bold, something I'd never done before. I mentioned prominently in my profile that the National Stuttering Association is a major driving force in my life. Now of course, I knew the risks I was taking, but I also knew that I had to do the right thing and be honest. Which brings me to this question: Is honesty the best policy?
You have heard me talk about the journey of self-acceptance every teammate who stutters must take within themselves. We all need to accept that we stutter-for some of us, it is a realization that occurs much sooner rather than later. It took me until my late twenties to realize that I stutter, and the choice is mine as to what I can make of it-after all, I can either make it work for me, or against me at the same time. But before I took that journey of self-acceptance, I would accept that I would be single for the rest of my life, and feel it's a death sentence. This world we live in isn't getting any better-the insults are becoming more caustic, the confrontations more violent, but I have seen hope, in the form of my NSA teammates in high school who are becoming more confident socially and growing into leaders in their own right.
Over dinner at the diner last week, I discussed this with a peer of mine, and she gave a very challenging response, which ate at me for a while: "I think what you're doing is courageous, but don't you think you're also throwing yourself on the mercy of the court without being tried?" she inquired. We all have certain qualities we look for in a potential girlfriend/significant other, but do we ever have deal-breakers? Sure. Smoking can be one. Doing drugs? Absolutely. My biggest one though, is a lack of acceptance of the NSA Nation. I could never date, or want to date, someone like that.
The greatest appeal of the NSA conferences is that teammates who do not stutter get just as much out of these seminars. It's not uncommon to see a teammate bring their girlfriend/boyfriend to this event, and they marvel at the life-altering processes that take place here. I know I am very comfortable as a teammate who stutters, and that needs to come through loud and clear. The NSA Nation is where I draw my power from. There may be those who just don't care about stuttering, or don't want to know about it. That's fine if they feel that way. All you've done is given me another reason not to want to get to know you.
I know that stuttering and dating can present a very big challenge. Stuttering affects men more than it does women, but we often wonder who has the greater challenges in the dating game. I have challenges too, of dealing with potential dates who may not understand the impact of a comment they make. I'll never forget one incident in my life that happened a year ago. I was out with a woman and we were having dinner at Houlihan's, and when the server came over to ask me what I wanted to drink, I asked for a cosmopolitan (yes, they really are good LOL) and it came out like "C-c-c-c-c-osmmmmmopolitan." The woman said "Wow, I didn't think that would take you a long time to answer." I got up and promptly walked out of the restaurant, and drove home. The next day I sent her an email explaining to her that because of that comment, I could no longer even speak with her. I was so angry after that, that I refused to even want to date because I was thinking everyone else would be just like that. But it's not true. It can be trying. It can test even the strongest of wills. But I know that in the end, I will find that woman who accepts the NSA Nation and how important it is to me.
We all want to find the "one." Here's to my teammates who refuse to let their stuttering stand in the way of that goal.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
I wanted to use this edition of the blog to discuss an interesting experience I recently had online in a chat room. I am going to be turning 32 next year, and like many of my peers, would like to get into the dating game. Some take the road less traveled, with many bumps along the way, like I have done. Hindsight as they say is always 20/20, but if I knew then what I knew now I probably would have not done half the stupid things in high school and college. I've always been attracted to the Internet when it comes to meeting new people. It's really an oxymoron, but I do much better on the Internet than in real life, one-to-one conversations. Needless to say, you can't hide behind a computer your whole life, but I can admit that the online world of dating can help "level the playing field" when it comes to being a teammate who stutters. Thankfully, the NSA Nation has been a godsend in helping me grow not just socially, but professionally as well.
Recently I was in a "thirties love" chat room on AOL, and chatting with a young woman from the Chicago suburbs. We were discussing the usual things: where we live, what we like to do, and I of course mentioned my incredible love of my life and the greatest passion I have, which is working for the National Stuttering Association. Things were going pretty well and then I heard the dreaded "goodbye" from AOL. It's all right, I told myself, she'll be back in a few minutes. She never did.
I recently signed up for Match.com a few months ago and decided to do something bold, something I'd never done before. I mentioned prominently in my profile that the National Stuttering Association is a major driving force in my life. Now of course, I knew the risks I was taking, but I also knew that I had to do the right thing and be honest. Which brings me to this question: Is honesty the best policy?
You have heard me talk about the journey of self-acceptance every teammate who stutters must take within themselves. We all need to accept that we stutter-for some of us, it is a realization that occurs much sooner rather than later. It took me until my late twenties to realize that I stutter, and the choice is mine as to what I can make of it-after all, I can either make it work for me, or against me at the same time. But before I took that journey of self-acceptance, I would accept that I would be single for the rest of my life, and feel it's a death sentence. This world we live in isn't getting any better-the insults are becoming more caustic, the confrontations more violent, but I have seen hope, in the form of my NSA teammates in high school who are becoming more confident socially and growing into leaders in their own right.
Over dinner at the diner last week, I discussed this with a peer of mine, and she gave a very challenging response, which ate at me for a while: "I think what you're doing is courageous, but don't you think you're also throwing yourself on the mercy of the court without being tried?" she inquired. We all have certain qualities we look for in a potential girlfriend/significant other, but do we ever have deal-breakers? Sure. Smoking can be one. Doing drugs? Absolutely. My biggest one though, is a lack of acceptance of the NSA Nation. I could never date, or want to date, someone like that.
The greatest appeal of the NSA conferences is that teammates who do not stutter get just as much out of these seminars. It's not uncommon to see a teammate bring their girlfriend/boyfriend to this event, and they marvel at the life-altering processes that take place here. I know I am very comfortable as a teammate who stutters, and that needs to come through loud and clear. The NSA Nation is where I draw my power from. There may be those who just don't care about stuttering, or don't want to know about it. That's fine if they feel that way. All you've done is given me another reason not to want to get to know you.
I know that stuttering and dating can present a very big challenge. Stuttering affects men more than it does women, but we often wonder who has the greater challenges in the dating game. I have challenges too, of dealing with potential dates who may not understand the impact of a comment they make. I'll never forget one incident in my life that happened a year ago. I was out with a woman and we were having dinner at Houlihan's, and when the server came over to ask me what I wanted to drink, I asked for a cosmopolitan (yes, they really are good LOL) and it came out like "C-c-c-c-c-osmmmmmopolitan." The woman said "Wow, I didn't think that would take you a long time to answer." I got up and promptly walked out of the restaurant, and drove home. The next day I sent her an email explaining to her that because of that comment, I could no longer even speak with her. I was so angry after that, that I refused to even want to date because I was thinking everyone else would be just like that. But it's not true. It can be trying. It can test even the strongest of wills. But I know that in the end, I will find that woman who accepts the NSA Nation and how important it is to me.
We all want to find the "one." Here's to my teammates who refuse to let their stuttering stand in the way of that goal.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I'm thankful for a special kind of freedom!
Good evening everyone,
Tonight is Thanksgiving Eve, and all across the country there is a plethora of things to be done: the traveling to family and loved ones, the manic last-minute preparations for the feast to be unveiled tomorrow, or, the start of the party night of the year. (Well, at least according to the countless advertisements for bars I've heard on the radio). We all know the roots of Thanksgiving, with the Pilgrims, and we have many things to be thankful for: our family, our health, our freedoms. Yet above all else, there's one freedom I have never taken for granted, and it wasn't until it was taken from me that I realized how important it truly is. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, and isn't that the truth. I am talking about the freedom to stutter openly and do so without shame and embarrassment-the freedom to be myself.
Growing up on Long Island, I lived in a close-knit community-and there really wasn't much "wiggle room" in the popularity race. You either were somebody, or you weren't. Each person had an identity that went far beyond the name, and I knew what mine was: "Steven the Stutterer." I can still re-live those cruel days when I would ask to sit down for lunch and the vocal chords locked, just like the car wheels in the snow. "Sorry, this seat is taken," or "Come on, Stuttering Steve! Spit out the words." I had accepted that was my fate, to be known as "Stuttering Steve." It got so bad that I would actually eat lunch by myself in the nurse's office. I didn't have to make up any excuses, I would just walk into the office, give a nod which was acknowledged, and go into the bed to eat. That would become my refuge, and my safe place. Of course, I never dared tell my parents about what I experienced.
And yet, the pain grew so long and hard. Every Thanksgiving holiday that passed, just felt like a Groundhog Day episode: the angst, the alienation, and being secluded from the rest of the modern world. I felt like an uninvited guest to the dinner table, and when I would sit down and ask for something to be passed to me, I could never get the words out. "Cranberry" would come out like "c-c-crrrrrrranberry" and as I was fumbling with the words, my mom would sit there exasperated and my dad would be rolling his eyes wondering why I could not say what I wanted. After that, I decided to spend my Thanksgiving holidays at a diner by myself, just me and the trimmings. And as I'd be eating, I would look over and see the happy families laughing, just enjoying being together, and seeing my heart ripped out and the blood squeezing very slowly in front of me.
These are certainly unprecedented times we live in: jobs are being cut, sacrifices made and unpopular choices around us. But this Thanksgiving, I look back on the memories of Scottsdale for the 2009 NSA annual conference, and those memories keep me going. I think about how above all else, I am grateful for the freedom I have: the freedom to stutter. The freedom to educate and empower my teammates, and learn from all of them. The freedom to share my head-over-heels love of the National Stuttering Association (http://www.westutter.org) with SLP students who will make their mark on the speech pathology field. I learn just as much from them and hopefully they learn from me. We all live through each other, celebrating our triumphs and learning about our challenges. The freedom to stutter and be who you are is truly the biggest reason to celebrate Thanksgiving.
It's always human nature to want more than what we have. Yet at the same time, I realize now that I am a special teammate with a gift. This is a precious gift that all NSA teammates have. The gift to love, the gift to learn, and the gift to make this world better than it is. Many times these gifts will not go recognized, but to those who are touched by them, just knowing that their world is brighter is enough thanks. But if you really want to see this gift in action, come to the NSA Conference in 2010 but just watch the last day when teammates leave to say goodbye. For those special teammates we call "first-timers," watch the tears down their face, and the families' faces as well. Some things really are priceless.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my teammates!
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tonight is Thanksgiving Eve, and all across the country there is a plethora of things to be done: the traveling to family and loved ones, the manic last-minute preparations for the feast to be unveiled tomorrow, or, the start of the party night of the year. (Well, at least according to the countless advertisements for bars I've heard on the radio). We all know the roots of Thanksgiving, with the Pilgrims, and we have many things to be thankful for: our family, our health, our freedoms. Yet above all else, there's one freedom I have never taken for granted, and it wasn't until it was taken from me that I realized how important it truly is. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, and isn't that the truth. I am talking about the freedom to stutter openly and do so without shame and embarrassment-the freedom to be myself.
Growing up on Long Island, I lived in a close-knit community-and there really wasn't much "wiggle room" in the popularity race. You either were somebody, or you weren't. Each person had an identity that went far beyond the name, and I knew what mine was: "Steven the Stutterer." I can still re-live those cruel days when I would ask to sit down for lunch and the vocal chords locked, just like the car wheels in the snow. "Sorry, this seat is taken," or "Come on, Stuttering Steve! Spit out the words." I had accepted that was my fate, to be known as "Stuttering Steve." It got so bad that I would actually eat lunch by myself in the nurse's office. I didn't have to make up any excuses, I would just walk into the office, give a nod which was acknowledged, and go into the bed to eat. That would become my refuge, and my safe place. Of course, I never dared tell my parents about what I experienced.
And yet, the pain grew so long and hard. Every Thanksgiving holiday that passed, just felt like a Groundhog Day episode: the angst, the alienation, and being secluded from the rest of the modern world. I felt like an uninvited guest to the dinner table, and when I would sit down and ask for something to be passed to me, I could never get the words out. "Cranberry" would come out like "c-c-crrrrrrranberry" and as I was fumbling with the words, my mom would sit there exasperated and my dad would be rolling his eyes wondering why I could not say what I wanted. After that, I decided to spend my Thanksgiving holidays at a diner by myself, just me and the trimmings. And as I'd be eating, I would look over and see the happy families laughing, just enjoying being together, and seeing my heart ripped out and the blood squeezing very slowly in front of me.
These are certainly unprecedented times we live in: jobs are being cut, sacrifices made and unpopular choices around us. But this Thanksgiving, I look back on the memories of Scottsdale for the 2009 NSA annual conference, and those memories keep me going. I think about how above all else, I am grateful for the freedom I have: the freedom to stutter. The freedom to educate and empower my teammates, and learn from all of them. The freedom to share my head-over-heels love of the National Stuttering Association (http://www.westutter.org) with SLP students who will make their mark on the speech pathology field. I learn just as much from them and hopefully they learn from me. We all live through each other, celebrating our triumphs and learning about our challenges. The freedom to stutter and be who you are is truly the biggest reason to celebrate Thanksgiving.
It's always human nature to want more than what we have. Yet at the same time, I realize now that I am a special teammate with a gift. This is a precious gift that all NSA teammates have. The gift to love, the gift to learn, and the gift to make this world better than it is. Many times these gifts will not go recognized, but to those who are touched by them, just knowing that their world is brighter is enough thanks. But if you really want to see this gift in action, come to the NSA Conference in 2010 but just watch the last day when teammates leave to say goodbye. For those special teammates we call "first-timers," watch the tears down their face, and the families' faces as well. Some things really are priceless.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my teammates!
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I made a memory of positive hope in the District of Columbia!!!
Good evening all my teammates,
I have to start off this blog entry by letting everyone know that even in the most trying of days and times, like the ones we face today, it is a given that if you keep focusing on the task at hand and never waving the white flag of surrender, eventually you will hit milestones. Many times these milestones are not often marked by the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or anything tangible. But they are marked the belief that anything is possible, even when we don't think it is.
On Thursday, Nov. 12, I began my travels from Long Island down to Washington, DC. Now most hear that and they are like, "Oh wow, nothing special. What's the big deal about the Turnpike and the Beltway?" Well, most times, there isn't, after all, those roads have been traveled many times before. But I was en route to the nation's capital for a very special and unique event. For the past two years, I have worked part-time while I seek full-time employment. These are perilous times we live in regarding today's economy, after all, safety nets (if they still exist) are hanging on by a thread. I found out about a special job fair being sponsored by a Long Island-based company called Equal Opportunity Publications, and they were hosting a job fair designed for candidates with disabilities. It was held at the Reagan Trade Building in downtown Washington, with many federal agencies and private employers looking to hire. I knew it was something I had to go to.
As I was driving down there and passing the Philadelphia skyline on I-95, I began to wonder a few things. Would I be the only who stutters there? How will I be perceived by other candidates as well as employers? Am I acknowledging I have a disability or not? So many questions and different ways to answer, so I want to share my thoughts on each perspective. Waiting on line to enter the job fair, I saw many different candidates facing challenges and being proud to represent themselves to the fullest: whether it was blindness, deafness, or paralysis. Stuttering is gaining so much momentum in the eyes of the world and I am proud to be a teammate who can show others the impact it has, but more importantly, what it can do for you if you have a positive attitude. As soon as I open my mouth, someone will know I stutter. And so what if they do? I was honored to be in the company of those candidates looking for work.
As to whether I feel I have a disability, I would say no, but there is a caveat. I suppose in the eyes of the law, I might be perceived as having one. I have worked with (and still am) working with vocational counselors and there are special considerations I can be given for employment with state and federal government. I want to be judged on my character and what I can do, even though most times it seems like we are judged based on our past and track record. I am taking advantage of an opportunity that was furnished to me, and I'd be foolish not to accept it. Sometimes it does frustrate me to deal with employers because HR people may seem disinterested or not care, especially if the job requires some level of oral proficiency. All jobs do. But do you know how I respond? I think this one sentence says it all: You may think I have a disability, but in reality, it's my greatest asset." How true it is!!!!
With every employer I met, I showcased the National Stuttering Association proudly. Many employers were impressed by my intense desire and loyalty to this incredible organization. In fact, one recruiter I met with had a cousin who stutters, and I told him all about the NSA Nation and how tremendous they are, and provided him with the contact information to get in touch. I also met a recruiter from NASA who was interested in possibly discussing a media position...no a ride on the shuttle will not be offered LOL. Great contacts were made, and resumes/business cards exchanged.
We as teammates but more importantly human beings know when we've experienced something great and how it feels. As a teammate who stutters, we tend to focus on more the negatives than the positive. I have faced and will continue to face many challenges with my speech, but I also know with the NSA Nation, I will remain focused on what needs to be done and know that I will never surrender to stuttering. When you experience those highs, they last much longer and taste ever so sweeter.
Here's to more of those moments taking place...and as always, here's to doing what is necessary to ensure the NSA Nation keeps going.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
I have to start off this blog entry by letting everyone know that even in the most trying of days and times, like the ones we face today, it is a given that if you keep focusing on the task at hand and never waving the white flag of surrender, eventually you will hit milestones. Many times these milestones are not often marked by the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or anything tangible. But they are marked the belief that anything is possible, even when we don't think it is.
On Thursday, Nov. 12, I began my travels from Long Island down to Washington, DC. Now most hear that and they are like, "Oh wow, nothing special. What's the big deal about the Turnpike and the Beltway?" Well, most times, there isn't, after all, those roads have been traveled many times before. But I was en route to the nation's capital for a very special and unique event. For the past two years, I have worked part-time while I seek full-time employment. These are perilous times we live in regarding today's economy, after all, safety nets (if they still exist) are hanging on by a thread. I found out about a special job fair being sponsored by a Long Island-based company called Equal Opportunity Publications, and they were hosting a job fair designed for candidates with disabilities. It was held at the Reagan Trade Building in downtown Washington, with many federal agencies and private employers looking to hire. I knew it was something I had to go to.
As I was driving down there and passing the Philadelphia skyline on I-95, I began to wonder a few things. Would I be the only who stutters there? How will I be perceived by other candidates as well as employers? Am I acknowledging I have a disability or not? So many questions and different ways to answer, so I want to share my thoughts on each perspective. Waiting on line to enter the job fair, I saw many different candidates facing challenges and being proud to represent themselves to the fullest: whether it was blindness, deafness, or paralysis. Stuttering is gaining so much momentum in the eyes of the world and I am proud to be a teammate who can show others the impact it has, but more importantly, what it can do for you if you have a positive attitude. As soon as I open my mouth, someone will know I stutter. And so what if they do? I was honored to be in the company of those candidates looking for work.
As to whether I feel I have a disability, I would say no, but there is a caveat. I suppose in the eyes of the law, I might be perceived as having one. I have worked with (and still am) working with vocational counselors and there are special considerations I can be given for employment with state and federal government. I want to be judged on my character and what I can do, even though most times it seems like we are judged based on our past and track record. I am taking advantage of an opportunity that was furnished to me, and I'd be foolish not to accept it. Sometimes it does frustrate me to deal with employers because HR people may seem disinterested or not care, especially if the job requires some level of oral proficiency. All jobs do. But do you know how I respond? I think this one sentence says it all: You may think I have a disability, but in reality, it's my greatest asset." How true it is!!!!
With every employer I met, I showcased the National Stuttering Association proudly. Many employers were impressed by my intense desire and loyalty to this incredible organization. In fact, one recruiter I met with had a cousin who stutters, and I told him all about the NSA Nation and how tremendous they are, and provided him with the contact information to get in touch. I also met a recruiter from NASA who was interested in possibly discussing a media position...no a ride on the shuttle will not be offered LOL. Great contacts were made, and resumes/business cards exchanged.
We as teammates but more importantly human beings know when we've experienced something great and how it feels. As a teammate who stutters, we tend to focus on more the negatives than the positive. I have faced and will continue to face many challenges with my speech, but I also know with the NSA Nation, I will remain focused on what needs to be done and know that I will never surrender to stuttering. When you experience those highs, they last much longer and taste ever so sweeter.
Here's to more of those moments taking place...and as always, here's to doing what is necessary to ensure the NSA Nation keeps going.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The Meaning Of Life, and Why You Don't Want To Live In The World Of Me!
Good evening all my teammates,
Although I am 31, in some ways I feel like my life has already started over and I am unlearning everything that I learned in college. They say college prepares you for the real world..man, is that an understatement of the highest kind. Our lives are shaped by experience and the teammates who leave their impressions on us by how they are, how they live, and how they give of themselves. When I was studying at Nassau Community College, I happened to take an introductory philosophy course, which to me wasn't anything more than some requisite that had to be filled. Of course, the professor didn't really make the class entertaining, but rather it was one student who asked the question about the meaning of life. This might sound strange, but it took me almost a decade and a little longer to find out just what the meaning of life is...and of all things, it came out of the pages of The Sporting News. It was taken from an interview with Larry Fitzgerald, the superstar wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals, as he was speaking about his mother, who had taken great pride in being a teacher who still receives letter from her students who have grown up to be productive members of society. Here's the simple lesson: "Life is really about making changes and helping people better themselves."
As much as it bothers me to acknowledge this, sometimes I fear that we live in the world of "ME." The world of me has no place for others, or no place for giving unless something is rewarded. The world of me has permeated our society, and it can be seen on the news by hearing stories about those who have spent lavishly at the expense of others. The world of me enters one's world when you begin to develop a "I never cared about anyone attitude, so it's me against the world." That attitude may work in high school, and maybe your first years of college. But once you enter the real world, I guarantee you if you keep on doing that, the world of me will force you to succumb to everything you don't want in life, and before you realize it, you won't recognize who you are.
I face a unique set of challenges as a teammate who stutters. Before I found the National Stuttering Association, to whom I owe everything, I had often questioned why it had been me who stuttered, and why not someone else. I had longed, for example, to wish I was deaf in addition to having a stutter so that I would not have to hear what was said about me. The world today is a lot more cruel than it's ever been. I've met some of the most amazing teammates at my NSA conference who are in high school and they stand firm in their convictions. They are the first ones who will challenge others when teasing about their stuttering is involved. They are truly wise beyond their years....and it's our job as teammates to continue to mentor them.
But in the end, the choice is ours. What do you think is the meaning of life? I know what mine is: To use my power to break the stranglehold of stuttering and give support and guidance to others. I can promise you this: Wherever stuttering is and it presence threatens my teammates, I will be there.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Although I am 31, in some ways I feel like my life has already started over and I am unlearning everything that I learned in college. They say college prepares you for the real world..man, is that an understatement of the highest kind. Our lives are shaped by experience and the teammates who leave their impressions on us by how they are, how they live, and how they give of themselves. When I was studying at Nassau Community College, I happened to take an introductory philosophy course, which to me wasn't anything more than some requisite that had to be filled. Of course, the professor didn't really make the class entertaining, but rather it was one student who asked the question about the meaning of life. This might sound strange, but it took me almost a decade and a little longer to find out just what the meaning of life is...and of all things, it came out of the pages of The Sporting News. It was taken from an interview with Larry Fitzgerald, the superstar wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals, as he was speaking about his mother, who had taken great pride in being a teacher who still receives letter from her students who have grown up to be productive members of society. Here's the simple lesson: "Life is really about making changes and helping people better themselves."
As much as it bothers me to acknowledge this, sometimes I fear that we live in the world of "ME." The world of me has no place for others, or no place for giving unless something is rewarded. The world of me has permeated our society, and it can be seen on the news by hearing stories about those who have spent lavishly at the expense of others. The world of me enters one's world when you begin to develop a "I never cared about anyone attitude, so it's me against the world." That attitude may work in high school, and maybe your first years of college. But once you enter the real world, I guarantee you if you keep on doing that, the world of me will force you to succumb to everything you don't want in life, and before you realize it, you won't recognize who you are.
I face a unique set of challenges as a teammate who stutters. Before I found the National Stuttering Association, to whom I owe everything, I had often questioned why it had been me who stuttered, and why not someone else. I had longed, for example, to wish I was deaf in addition to having a stutter so that I would not have to hear what was said about me. The world today is a lot more cruel than it's ever been. I've met some of the most amazing teammates at my NSA conference who are in high school and they stand firm in their convictions. They are the first ones who will challenge others when teasing about their stuttering is involved. They are truly wise beyond their years....and it's our job as teammates to continue to mentor them.
But in the end, the choice is ours. What do you think is the meaning of life? I know what mine is: To use my power to break the stranglehold of stuttering and give support and guidance to others. I can promise you this: Wherever stuttering is and it presence threatens my teammates, I will be there.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Monday, October 26, 2009
I am the CEO of my own life!
Good evening my NSA teammates,
Today I opened up the newspaper and was reading the story of another person in the public eye who fell from grace and as a result, embarrassed not only himself, his employer, but most importantly, lost his reputation. Steve Phillips, the former general manager of the New York Mets and an ESPN analyst regarding baseball, was terminated along with a production assistant for carrying on an affair which caused great humiliation to the station. I couldn't help but compare his plight to those executives in the automotive industry who pleaded their case before Washington, crying for a bailout. What do these have in common? One word: accountability.
I decided to create a new phrase that I want to implement into my presentations not only when I speak to classes of SLP students, but in my seminars at the NSA as well. What is that phrase? "I am the CEO of my own life!" We've often heard the term "chief executive officer" or "chief operating officer" in regard to many Fortune 500 companies, as they are the face of the organization. To be a CEO in this kind of mode requires tact, patience, an ability to lead and guide those who depend on you. Sadly, these days that breed is disappearing. As I was writing this, I couldn't help but picture these people with a "Duuuuh" expression as they wondered why their companies were in the predicament they were in. Most likely, it's because they made poor decisions, or didn't even bother to take accountability for their actions.
Like many NSA teammates, I have taken my own personal journey of self-acceptance, and I feel that I am accountable to myself and the NSA in many ways. For starters, I own my stuttering and accept it as part of who I am. This was a painful and very trying task for me to undergo. The expression "The truth will set you free" was very pertinent for me in this case. I realized that in order to take accountability, I had to first stop denying the existence that I was not a person who stuttered. I would often say I spoke very slowly and deliberately, because to admit to myself that I stuttered was an admission of guilt for the longest time. That's not the case anymore.
Being not just a teammate, but a chapter leader, has also heightened my awareness when it comes to being accountable. I enjoy reading other chapter leaders discussions in their chapters, and one of the many things that makes the NSA so very special is that we demand the best from each other, and we get it. We challenge each other and push each other to not just become better teammates, but human beings as well. I have made many mistakes in my life, and learned the hard way that you do pay the consequences for your actions. One time when I was working full-time, I told my supervisor that I had done something when in reality I didn't, because I didn't want her to think I was incompetent. A few days later I got caught in a lie, and as a result, had a note go into my personnel file. That is a reflection on me, and no one else.
In the movie "Fifteen Minutes" with Robert De Niro and Edward Burns, there's a very sharp quote that makes you think: A foreigner says "I love America because no one is responsible for what they do." Does that seem to be the case sometimes? There are always stories on the news about passing the buck and blaming someone else. "It's not my fault, it's her fault," is a common refrain. Well, I can say this emphatically: "I am the CEO of my own life. The decisions I make are mine and mine alone, and I will accept whatever happens and make the best of it."
The day I said that, was the day I learned that any door can be opened.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
The NSA Nation is located at http://www.westutter.org!
Today I opened up the newspaper and was reading the story of another person in the public eye who fell from grace and as a result, embarrassed not only himself, his employer, but most importantly, lost his reputation. Steve Phillips, the former general manager of the New York Mets and an ESPN analyst regarding baseball, was terminated along with a production assistant for carrying on an affair which caused great humiliation to the station. I couldn't help but compare his plight to those executives in the automotive industry who pleaded their case before Washington, crying for a bailout. What do these have in common? One word: accountability.
I decided to create a new phrase that I want to implement into my presentations not only when I speak to classes of SLP students, but in my seminars at the NSA as well. What is that phrase? "I am the CEO of my own life!" We've often heard the term "chief executive officer" or "chief operating officer" in regard to many Fortune 500 companies, as they are the face of the organization. To be a CEO in this kind of mode requires tact, patience, an ability to lead and guide those who depend on you. Sadly, these days that breed is disappearing. As I was writing this, I couldn't help but picture these people with a "Duuuuh" expression as they wondered why their companies were in the predicament they were in. Most likely, it's because they made poor decisions, or didn't even bother to take accountability for their actions.
Like many NSA teammates, I have taken my own personal journey of self-acceptance, and I feel that I am accountable to myself and the NSA in many ways. For starters, I own my stuttering and accept it as part of who I am. This was a painful and very trying task for me to undergo. The expression "The truth will set you free" was very pertinent for me in this case. I realized that in order to take accountability, I had to first stop denying the existence that I was not a person who stuttered. I would often say I spoke very slowly and deliberately, because to admit to myself that I stuttered was an admission of guilt for the longest time. That's not the case anymore.
Being not just a teammate, but a chapter leader, has also heightened my awareness when it comes to being accountable. I enjoy reading other chapter leaders discussions in their chapters, and one of the many things that makes the NSA so very special is that we demand the best from each other, and we get it. We challenge each other and push each other to not just become better teammates, but human beings as well. I have made many mistakes in my life, and learned the hard way that you do pay the consequences for your actions. One time when I was working full-time, I told my supervisor that I had done something when in reality I didn't, because I didn't want her to think I was incompetent. A few days later I got caught in a lie, and as a result, had a note go into my personnel file. That is a reflection on me, and no one else.
In the movie "Fifteen Minutes" with Robert De Niro and Edward Burns, there's a very sharp quote that makes you think: A foreigner says "I love America because no one is responsible for what they do." Does that seem to be the case sometimes? There are always stories on the news about passing the buck and blaming someone else. "It's not my fault, it's her fault," is a common refrain. Well, I can say this emphatically: "I am the CEO of my own life. The decisions I make are mine and mine alone, and I will accept whatever happens and make the best of it."
The day I said that, was the day I learned that any door can be opened.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
The NSA Nation is located at http://www.westutter.org!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
