Good afternoon everyone,
I thought I'd start this entry of the blog with one of the famous lines from William Shakespeare. The phrase "Et tu, Brute," is literally translated as "You too, Brutus!" and refers to the moment when Julius Caesar is stabbed by his best friend and compatriot, Brutus. I have to admit I had one of those moments yesterday. And even though it came from the mouth of my parents, it doesn't make it any easier. In fact, it just adds more concrete evidence that they don't understand stuttering, and probably never will.
As those who read my blog know, I am aggressively looking for full-time work. I keep myself focused on my job search while I work part-time. Recently, I was discussing the latest developments with my mom and dad, and I informed them that I had decided to apply for an opening as a screener with the Transportation Security Administration, at LaGuardia Airport in Queens County, which is about 45 minutes west from where I live. Their response was shocking, and quite possibly the worst thing any parent can say: "That's a good job for you! You wouldn't have to talk a lot." I was absolutely infuriated by this comment.
I want to say for the record that in no way I have ever let my stuttering stand in the way of applying for a job. At the National Stuttering Association conferences, there are many workshops that are dedicated to networking and helping attendees establish themselves in a career. One of the most frequently asked questions is something like this: "How can I apply for a job when one of the requirements is good communication skills?" Well, early on in my life, I worked in journalism. There may be some people who might have thought I was a glutton for punishment-since there was talking every day. I even had to ring doorbells of perfect strangers and go up to people on the street and talk to them. I felt like I was waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop: the snickers, the comments, the blank stares as I was fumbling for the right words.
One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is that parents often feel the best way to talk about something is to avoid it. You see this all the time with touchy issues: drugs, sex, and so on. I just had a chance to see this year's conference program for the NSA, and there are a few seminars presented by a parent and their child who stutters. How truly awesome that is! Not just for the fact that it brings the adult and child together, but it shows there is hope that you can talk about stuttering with your family. One part of me does wish that my parents could attend a conference and see what a truly special event this is. Then again, I see myself playing the devil's advocate. If they really don't even care about your speech, then why would you want them there in the first place?
In today's world, we shake our head when we see the way things are headed. We can't choose who our parents are. We can't try to change someone who is set in their ways. But we can make peace with the fact that we are special, and together with our gifts we can improve our lives, day by day. After my parents made that comment to me, I went into my room and read my conference programs back-to-back, looking at my Volunteer of the Year award from 2008. And I'm reminded that I am somebody who has a lot to offer. You have something to share with this world. I want you to promise me you will.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
And then what are you prepared to do?
Good evening everyone,
In the1960s, the phrase "The times, they are a-changing" was aptly used to describe a truly unique time in the growth of our country. The decade became associated with among other things, sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, the sexual revolution, and a time to question everything we were taught and what we believed. I think it's safe to say that our times are changing, and not for the better. Yet despite all that's going on in the world, the one thing that hasn't changed is the commitment to prepare yourself to do what you need to do to make a goal materialize. Very rarely does it ever happen overnight. But many times I've questioned myself if I really am ready to do the things that need to be done.
I was recently watching the 1987 movie "The Untouchables" on cable, which remains one of my favorite movies because of one special scene. For those who are unfamiliar, the film deals with the struggles of Eliot Ness, an agent with the Bureau of Prohibition (which falls under the U.S. Department of the Treasury), who is struggling with the process of bringing Al Capone and his gang to justice. Kevin Costner, who plays Ness, is pondering this dilemma in a church as he is talking to Sean Connery (who won the Oscar for playing Jimmy Malone, an Irish police officer). "I am prepared to do everything within the means of the law," Ness states matter of factly. "And then what are you prepared to do?" retorts Malone back, questioning his commitment to fulfilling his goal. "If you open the ball on these people, you must be prepared to go all the way. If you really want to get Capone, here's what you do. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way. That's how you get Capone." No doubt dramatic, but the point is made clearly.
I bring this scene up because we're rapidly approaching the end of June, and there will be commencements for all high schools, a few of which have taken place already. I never did attend my moving up exercises, for my feelings of guilt and loneliness overwhelmed me. Yet I see so much hope in the eyes of today's graduates. Every generation has its challenges to face, and this one more than many. Yet if you are prepared to do what you need to do, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
I can still recall vividly the early days of my junior college years. Many students in my graduating class attended college at one of the State University of New York Schools. Albany and Buffalo were pretty popular choices-mainly because it was not too far from home, but just enough to get away from the parental influences. Of course, that doesn't go for Buffalo, which is an eight hour drive if you go nonstop from Long Island. I wanted to go away to school, but I didn't do what had to be done to earn that right. Instead of taking my classes seriously, I often fooled around, and barely graduated with a C+ average. I started off at Nassau Community College, and learned a great deal about myself and the commitment it takes to making things happen. I had to learn to get up at 6 a.m. for 8 a.m. classes, manage my time, fight the frustrations of parking. I also learned most importantly to answer the question posed by most of my teachers: "Why are you here?" And no, it's not enough to say you want to get an education. There has to be more. There needs to be a undying commitment to show you want it. More than anyone else does.
I had my days when I absolutely wanted to be elsewhere. In fact, wouldn't you know I actually ran into one of my classmates at NCC (as it is known) a couple of months after graduation. I asked him what happened, and he said he was asked to leave-his GPA fell below the minimum and he had to return home to build his grades back up. He wasn't someone I was close to, but I asked him if he could offer any advice. "Be focused," was all he told me. Nothing else needed to be said.
So I ask you what are you prepared to do about your stuttering? Sure, there is speech therapy. Some people go, others choose not to, and that is their right. Are you prepared to represent yourself as someone who refuses to let their speech define them? Are you able to motivate yourself, and lead others as well? These questions, and many more, are able to be answered by one person. You can find it within yourself. And if you need some more inspiration, get involved with the NSA Nation, at http://www.westutter.org!
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
In the1960s, the phrase "The times, they are a-changing" was aptly used to describe a truly unique time in the growth of our country. The decade became associated with among other things, sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, the sexual revolution, and a time to question everything we were taught and what we believed. I think it's safe to say that our times are changing, and not for the better. Yet despite all that's going on in the world, the one thing that hasn't changed is the commitment to prepare yourself to do what you need to do to make a goal materialize. Very rarely does it ever happen overnight. But many times I've questioned myself if I really am ready to do the things that need to be done.
I was recently watching the 1987 movie "The Untouchables" on cable, which remains one of my favorite movies because of one special scene. For those who are unfamiliar, the film deals with the struggles of Eliot Ness, an agent with the Bureau of Prohibition (which falls under the U.S. Department of the Treasury), who is struggling with the process of bringing Al Capone and his gang to justice. Kevin Costner, who plays Ness, is pondering this dilemma in a church as he is talking to Sean Connery (who won the Oscar for playing Jimmy Malone, an Irish police officer). "I am prepared to do everything within the means of the law," Ness states matter of factly. "And then what are you prepared to do?" retorts Malone back, questioning his commitment to fulfilling his goal. "If you open the ball on these people, you must be prepared to go all the way. If you really want to get Capone, here's what you do. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way. That's how you get Capone." No doubt dramatic, but the point is made clearly.
I bring this scene up because we're rapidly approaching the end of June, and there will be commencements for all high schools, a few of which have taken place already. I never did attend my moving up exercises, for my feelings of guilt and loneliness overwhelmed me. Yet I see so much hope in the eyes of today's graduates. Every generation has its challenges to face, and this one more than many. Yet if you are prepared to do what you need to do, there's no limit to what you can achieve.
I can still recall vividly the early days of my junior college years. Many students in my graduating class attended college at one of the State University of New York Schools. Albany and Buffalo were pretty popular choices-mainly because it was not too far from home, but just enough to get away from the parental influences. Of course, that doesn't go for Buffalo, which is an eight hour drive if you go nonstop from Long Island. I wanted to go away to school, but I didn't do what had to be done to earn that right. Instead of taking my classes seriously, I often fooled around, and barely graduated with a C+ average. I started off at Nassau Community College, and learned a great deal about myself and the commitment it takes to making things happen. I had to learn to get up at 6 a.m. for 8 a.m. classes, manage my time, fight the frustrations of parking. I also learned most importantly to answer the question posed by most of my teachers: "Why are you here?" And no, it's not enough to say you want to get an education. There has to be more. There needs to be a undying commitment to show you want it. More than anyone else does.
I had my days when I absolutely wanted to be elsewhere. In fact, wouldn't you know I actually ran into one of my classmates at NCC (as it is known) a couple of months after graduation. I asked him what happened, and he said he was asked to leave-his GPA fell below the minimum and he had to return home to build his grades back up. He wasn't someone I was close to, but I asked him if he could offer any advice. "Be focused," was all he told me. Nothing else needed to be said.
So I ask you what are you prepared to do about your stuttering? Sure, there is speech therapy. Some people go, others choose not to, and that is their right. Are you prepared to represent yourself as someone who refuses to let their speech define them? Are you able to motivate yourself, and lead others as well? These questions, and many more, are able to be answered by one person. You can find it within yourself. And if you need some more inspiration, get involved with the NSA Nation, at http://www.westutter.org!
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Emotions, Michigan, and a story about those feelings......
Good evening everyone,
It was a Wednesday night like any other night in Anytown, USA. Even though my remote control was waging a dueling battle between watching the state of Illinois and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania battle for Lord Stanley's Cup, I had to see what was happening in a certain baseball game between the Cleveland Indians and Detroit Tigers. One man, Armando Galarraga, was on the precipice of history. As Andy Warhol put it, we are all promised fifteen minutes of fame. And then, came one of those defining moments that show you just what kind of a person you really are when the world is watching. It was one groundout, just a routine play like which occurs several times in a baseball game. It only took two seconds for one umpire to incorrectly identify the call. And just like that, heartbreak was instantaneous.
Yet for all the criticism, the finger-pointing that was about to take place, there was just as much focus on the pitcher who smiled and said nothing. He could have screamed. He might have gotten right in the person's face and verbally berated them, and practically everyone in the universe would have echoed his sentiments. And even though the umpire apologized repeatedly and admitted he was wrong, there was absolutely nothing that could be done to ameliorate the situation. But above all else, it was the way he handled it.
As a person who stutters, I can say emphatically that for the longest time one of my greatest challenges was the ability to refrain from saying anything. I always had the need to get the last word in, to say what I wanted to. When you stutter, there is always going to be someone who refuses to hear you out. Maybe because they don't have time, or they just don't care. I have never let someone do that to me at all....but when it does happen, you only have a split second to decide what your next response will be. And that, above all else, says a great deal about who you are.
Stuttering for me has really made me examine my emotions in different ways. Being a chapter leader in the National Stuttering Association has shown me that even when you aren't in the public eye, you need to represent yourself the best way possible when it comes to your speech. I have never ever advocated using my stuttering as an excuse for anything, even when it comes to getting angry. I vividly remember in my days in junior high school, high school, and college, all it would take was just one remark about my speech to set me off. I was the grenade, someone who teased me pulled the pin, and now sit back and watch the explosion take place. How I wished back then that I had the self-control not to respond with anger.
Emotions are a big part of my life, and others who stutter because it brings out the best-and at times, the worst in us. We do not know what kind of a speech day we'll have. On the days when we need to be fluent, we may not be, and vice versa. It can drive you mad if you let it. But one of the themes that I stress when I lecture at schools is to make your emotions work for you, and not against you. Easier said than done, I'm sure.
As it turns out, the pitcher accepted the expressions of emotions from the umpire. Not because he had to do, but because it was the right thing to do. There will be some who'll say, "Well the fact that he got a Corvette made up for it." If you want to think that way, then you are certainly entitled to it.
The next time you're out, whether it is just with your friends or flying solo, think about your emotions and what they say about you. I lived too many years of my life being consumed by negativity, and I have made it my personal mission to help others work with controlling their feelings when it comes to stuttering. I promise that if you can do that, you will feel more spiritually alive than you ever thought possible.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
It was a Wednesday night like any other night in Anytown, USA. Even though my remote control was waging a dueling battle between watching the state of Illinois and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania battle for Lord Stanley's Cup, I had to see what was happening in a certain baseball game between the Cleveland Indians and Detroit Tigers. One man, Armando Galarraga, was on the precipice of history. As Andy Warhol put it, we are all promised fifteen minutes of fame. And then, came one of those defining moments that show you just what kind of a person you really are when the world is watching. It was one groundout, just a routine play like which occurs several times in a baseball game. It only took two seconds for one umpire to incorrectly identify the call. And just like that, heartbreak was instantaneous.
Yet for all the criticism, the finger-pointing that was about to take place, there was just as much focus on the pitcher who smiled and said nothing. He could have screamed. He might have gotten right in the person's face and verbally berated them, and practically everyone in the universe would have echoed his sentiments. And even though the umpire apologized repeatedly and admitted he was wrong, there was absolutely nothing that could be done to ameliorate the situation. But above all else, it was the way he handled it.
As a person who stutters, I can say emphatically that for the longest time one of my greatest challenges was the ability to refrain from saying anything. I always had the need to get the last word in, to say what I wanted to. When you stutter, there is always going to be someone who refuses to hear you out. Maybe because they don't have time, or they just don't care. I have never let someone do that to me at all....but when it does happen, you only have a split second to decide what your next response will be. And that, above all else, says a great deal about who you are.
Stuttering for me has really made me examine my emotions in different ways. Being a chapter leader in the National Stuttering Association has shown me that even when you aren't in the public eye, you need to represent yourself the best way possible when it comes to your speech. I have never ever advocated using my stuttering as an excuse for anything, even when it comes to getting angry. I vividly remember in my days in junior high school, high school, and college, all it would take was just one remark about my speech to set me off. I was the grenade, someone who teased me pulled the pin, and now sit back and watch the explosion take place. How I wished back then that I had the self-control not to respond with anger.
Emotions are a big part of my life, and others who stutter because it brings out the best-and at times, the worst in us. We do not know what kind of a speech day we'll have. On the days when we need to be fluent, we may not be, and vice versa. It can drive you mad if you let it. But one of the themes that I stress when I lecture at schools is to make your emotions work for you, and not against you. Easier said than done, I'm sure.
As it turns out, the pitcher accepted the expressions of emotions from the umpire. Not because he had to do, but because it was the right thing to do. There will be some who'll say, "Well the fact that he got a Corvette made up for it." If you want to think that way, then you are certainly entitled to it.
The next time you're out, whether it is just with your friends or flying solo, think about your emotions and what they say about you. I lived too many years of my life being consumed by negativity, and I have made it my personal mission to help others work with controlling their feelings when it comes to stuttering. I promise that if you can do that, you will feel more spiritually alive than you ever thought possible.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
A special rite of passage, indeed!
Good evening everyone,
We're about to come upon Memorial Day Weekend 2010. No matter what you think of this as, whether it's the official kick-off to summer, or another reason to introduce yourself to the sun's rays and the local beach near you, it's an undeniable feeling that yes, something special is in the air...and this feeling never gets old.
Last night, as I was watching the 10 O'Clock News on New York's FOX affiliate (WNYW/5), the first topic of discussion on the news was the fact that the brand new Meadowlands Stadium located in the suburban swamplands of New Jersey (more specifically, East Rutherford approximately seven miles west of New York City) was being christened by the local band that has established themselves as real pride for local residents everywhere, Bon Jovi. 90,000 fans came out for the celebration, and I couldn't help but listen intently to fans being interviewed. "I grew up with Bon Jovi to get me through law school, and now he's helping me close it," said one woman. Another man who brought his whole family said how his love of "Living On A Prayer" had been passed down to his sons and daughter.
As I was thinking about this, I couldn't help but focus my sights on another feeling that no matter how hard one can describe it, it's unforgettable. That, of course, is the National Stuttering Association's annual conference. In a little less than one month, myself and 700 people who stutter will meet for four days to share wisdom about stuttering...that goes without saying, but when you really get down to it, it's about life. It's about celebrating our great spirit and knowing we are capable of anything we want to do.
Like a rite of passage, the NSA conference has also become for me a tradition and something that demands required attendance. I don't take a lot of vacations, but for me, this trumps everything else. I don't attend family events because in my eyes, I will always be persona non gratis because of my speech-and the fact that my parents will continue to feel ashamed of it. When I see a family I know, we spend several minutes sharing our memories of previous conferences, and the triumphs and tragedies we all share.
Yet it's the little moments that carry the most impact. I can vividly recall people just standing up and saying "My name is ___________" and even if that's all they can, those four words carry such great weight because it is the start of the rest of their lives. We use the term "first-timers" to describe those who have just found out about the conference, and by the closing banquet, they know they are coming back for the next year. We'll all be together to stand with those who have been teased and alienated. And they'll start the transformation process into a special human being.
My countdown started as soon as I got off the plane from Arizona at MacArthur Airport. In a few weeks, I'll be boarding another one to Ohio. Maybe I'll see you there. Or better yet, at a future conference someday.
Number five (Long Beach, Calif., Atlanta, Parsippany, N.J., Scottsdale, Ariz., and now Cleveland) will be just as special for me. May it be for you too.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
We're about to come upon Memorial Day Weekend 2010. No matter what you think of this as, whether it's the official kick-off to summer, or another reason to introduce yourself to the sun's rays and the local beach near you, it's an undeniable feeling that yes, something special is in the air...and this feeling never gets old.
Last night, as I was watching the 10 O'Clock News on New York's FOX affiliate (WNYW/5), the first topic of discussion on the news was the fact that the brand new Meadowlands Stadium located in the suburban swamplands of New Jersey (more specifically, East Rutherford approximately seven miles west of New York City) was being christened by the local band that has established themselves as real pride for local residents everywhere, Bon Jovi. 90,000 fans came out for the celebration, and I couldn't help but listen intently to fans being interviewed. "I grew up with Bon Jovi to get me through law school, and now he's helping me close it," said one woman. Another man who brought his whole family said how his love of "Living On A Prayer" had been passed down to his sons and daughter.
As I was thinking about this, I couldn't help but focus my sights on another feeling that no matter how hard one can describe it, it's unforgettable. That, of course, is the National Stuttering Association's annual conference. In a little less than one month, myself and 700 people who stutter will meet for four days to share wisdom about stuttering...that goes without saying, but when you really get down to it, it's about life. It's about celebrating our great spirit and knowing we are capable of anything we want to do.
Like a rite of passage, the NSA conference has also become for me a tradition and something that demands required attendance. I don't take a lot of vacations, but for me, this trumps everything else. I don't attend family events because in my eyes, I will always be persona non gratis because of my speech-and the fact that my parents will continue to feel ashamed of it. When I see a family I know, we spend several minutes sharing our memories of previous conferences, and the triumphs and tragedies we all share.
Yet it's the little moments that carry the most impact. I can vividly recall people just standing up and saying "My name is ___________" and even if that's all they can, those four words carry such great weight because it is the start of the rest of their lives. We use the term "first-timers" to describe those who have just found out about the conference, and by the closing banquet, they know they are coming back for the next year. We'll all be together to stand with those who have been teased and alienated. And they'll start the transformation process into a special human being.
My countdown started as soon as I got off the plane from Arizona at MacArthur Airport. In a few weeks, I'll be boarding another one to Ohio. Maybe I'll see you there. Or better yet, at a future conference someday.
Number five (Long Beach, Calif., Atlanta, Parsippany, N.J., Scottsdale, Ariz., and now Cleveland) will be just as special for me. May it be for you too.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
There is no day but today...so make it happen!
Good afternoon everyone,
One of the greatest pleasures I have had the chance to experience is special times when I can get together with my NSA colleagues outside of our annual conferences. I used to think of my fellow NSA members as "teammates," but in many ways, we are more than that. We're teachers, advocates, and friends with unbreakable bonds that no one else can even begin to understand.
This past Saturday, I had a chance to get together with one of my friends from the conference. In all honesty, I didn't even know he was going to be in my "neck of the woods," as the proverbial expression goes. I firmly believe that when the opportunity presents itself, you need to make an effort to reach out and offer to get together-even if it's for dinner or just having drinks at the local bar. My friend was in town for a month to attend an intensive speech therapy program, and it was only via his Facebook page that I found out. I emailed him, and we decided to hang out in New York City. Any time I go into the city, it's a special thing for me. I am a typical suburbanite-whenever someone asks me where I am from, I always say "Long Island" rather than New York. Although sometimes I take it for granted that I can easily have access to the amenities that this city offers me, I'm not usually much for being there. I love the beaches and the much slower pace of life, although when I am in the city, it's usually a good bet you'll find me behind the microphone at a karaoke bar.
I met my friend and our first stop was riding the D line up to the Yankee Stadium/161st Street/River Avenue stop, so we could walk around the stadium. And as we were doing so on what was a glorious day, the topic of conversation turned to one of the themes that usually rears its head throughout our lives, and especially at the conference. And that's the one about taking chances. Matt was telling me how he just completed his Associate's Degree and was deciding on whether or not to go for his Bachelor's degree, or take the entrance exam to be a New York City Police Officer. We happened to be walking past Mullally Park right by the Stadium, approaching the George Washington Bridge exit, and I encouraged him to go for it-especially since the city is always recruiting for police officers. But Matt spoke about how he was worried how his speech might come into play-because it's one thing to be comfortable around another person who stutters, and it's totally different when you need to be in the public eye.
It is no secret that I take so much pride in knowing so many members of the NSA Nation, who have pursued (and are pursuing) their goals in spite of their concerns they may have. Whether it's a teacher or a speech pathologist. One of the articles in our "Letting GO" newsletter was written by a mother of our members who expressed her concerns when her daughter wanted to become a speech pathologist and she had to say her name to other graduate students.
After we hit the Stadium, we did some subway-hopping and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan to the DUMBO (Down Underneath the Manhattan Bridge) with a truly priceless view of the skyline and Statue of Liberty. But another attribute of the National Stuttering Association is that no one cares what your background is or what personal beliefs you have-we all come from various regions-the Northeast, the Florida beaches (like Matt), the Pacific Northwest, and so on. On the bridge, there was a great collection of residents and visitors just being. Just talking, and no one cared about their personal issues.
As we were walking back to the Manhattan side, I couldn't help but pause to see where the Twin Towers once stood. The only thing that was going through my mind was the song "No Day But Today," from the musical "Rent." We all have so much to accomplish, so much to dream, and time to make it happen. Matt pledged to me he will strongly consider taking the exam. No matter what he decides, just the fact that two members of the NSA Nation were able to get together made it a pretty good weekend....don't you think?
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
One of the greatest pleasures I have had the chance to experience is special times when I can get together with my NSA colleagues outside of our annual conferences. I used to think of my fellow NSA members as "teammates," but in many ways, we are more than that. We're teachers, advocates, and friends with unbreakable bonds that no one else can even begin to understand.
This past Saturday, I had a chance to get together with one of my friends from the conference. In all honesty, I didn't even know he was going to be in my "neck of the woods," as the proverbial expression goes. I firmly believe that when the opportunity presents itself, you need to make an effort to reach out and offer to get together-even if it's for dinner or just having drinks at the local bar. My friend was in town for a month to attend an intensive speech therapy program, and it was only via his Facebook page that I found out. I emailed him, and we decided to hang out in New York City. Any time I go into the city, it's a special thing for me. I am a typical suburbanite-whenever someone asks me where I am from, I always say "Long Island" rather than New York. Although sometimes I take it for granted that I can easily have access to the amenities that this city offers me, I'm not usually much for being there. I love the beaches and the much slower pace of life, although when I am in the city, it's usually a good bet you'll find me behind the microphone at a karaoke bar.
I met my friend and our first stop was riding the D line up to the Yankee Stadium/161st Street/River Avenue stop, so we could walk around the stadium. And as we were doing so on what was a glorious day, the topic of conversation turned to one of the themes that usually rears its head throughout our lives, and especially at the conference. And that's the one about taking chances. Matt was telling me how he just completed his Associate's Degree and was deciding on whether or not to go for his Bachelor's degree, or take the entrance exam to be a New York City Police Officer. We happened to be walking past Mullally Park right by the Stadium, approaching the George Washington Bridge exit, and I encouraged him to go for it-especially since the city is always recruiting for police officers. But Matt spoke about how he was worried how his speech might come into play-because it's one thing to be comfortable around another person who stutters, and it's totally different when you need to be in the public eye.
It is no secret that I take so much pride in knowing so many members of the NSA Nation, who have pursued (and are pursuing) their goals in spite of their concerns they may have. Whether it's a teacher or a speech pathologist. One of the articles in our "Letting GO" newsletter was written by a mother of our members who expressed her concerns when her daughter wanted to become a speech pathologist and she had to say her name to other graduate students.
After we hit the Stadium, we did some subway-hopping and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan to the DUMBO (Down Underneath the Manhattan Bridge) with a truly priceless view of the skyline and Statue of Liberty. But another attribute of the National Stuttering Association is that no one cares what your background is or what personal beliefs you have-we all come from various regions-the Northeast, the Florida beaches (like Matt), the Pacific Northwest, and so on. On the bridge, there was a great collection of residents and visitors just being. Just talking, and no one cared about their personal issues.
As we were walking back to the Manhattan side, I couldn't help but pause to see where the Twin Towers once stood. The only thing that was going through my mind was the song "No Day But Today," from the musical "Rent." We all have so much to accomplish, so much to dream, and time to make it happen. Matt pledged to me he will strongly consider taking the exam. No matter what he decides, just the fact that two members of the NSA Nation were able to get together made it a pretty good weekend....don't you think?
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Hello everyone,
Throughout my life, I have often questioned many times why life takes the twists and turns it does. We all have struggled at times with many challenges that life has thrown at us: a new chapter starts and we are unsure what to do about it. A death in our family shatters our normalcy and things never stay the same again. Yet, as the saying goes, "The more things change, the more things stay the same." And what stays the same to me, as a member of the National Stuttering Association, is the unbreakable spirit that a group of collective individuals can agree to unite for something bigger than themselves, and learn about this unique world we live in.
For many travelers around the world, the shattering took place at our local airports. With a volcanic eruption spreading ash over Europe, there was a standstill of shock and then the craziness started. There was nowhere to go, very few people to talk to-or to care about their problems. I was reading the New York Post a few days ago at a diner counter and was shaking my head at some of the responses from those stranded when a reporter asked them how they were managing. One person said (paraphrasing) "We don't deserve to be treated like animals." Another one was angry that in search of a temporary room and shower, some hotels raised the prices every day in hopes one's will would be broken and they'd give in. Yet there are some who despite the most trying of circumstances, make it through the day with a smile and their courage. One family, who seemed amused by the fact that some passengers were photographing them like a paparazzi would celebrities, decided turnabout was fair play and thus photographed those who were photographing them. Some passengers, according to the Post, decided to engage a take-off of "Twenty Questions" in a parlor game supposedly called "I'm Not Beethoven." And one young girl was making some good friends with a French compatriot, even though she didn't know a lick about the language. It brought a smile to my face, knowing that just maybe the human spirit isn't dead as it seems like sometimes it can be.
But as a person who stutters (or even if you support others who do), we have more of those moments, and although we want to give up and declare our lives over, it is unfathomable. When I speak at colleges about the NSA Nation and the transforming effects it has, the one thing I stress is that we all live through each other. We laugh together, and we celebrate all that our speech is and can be. We also cry and empathize when someone's ordeal threatens to bring down all they worked for.One of my colleagues at the NSA who has contributed her blood, sweat, and tears as we all have, was recently given some devastating news. She is a very proud mom of two daughters, one who is an SLP and the other who will be a psychologist and serves in a leadership capacity in my organization. She is a big proponent of education, and found out that after twenty-something years, she was being let go because of budgetary issues in California. My heart dropped after I read that, and as someone who strongly believes that the NSA Nation takes care of its own, I asked her to call me, and we spoke for an hour. Despite this crippling news, she maintained her sunny outlook. Many of us wear their hearts on their sleeve (I do), and when we receive bad news, we tend to immediately feel those clenches of negativity permeate our mind. We begin to ask "Why me? Why couldn't this happen to someone else?" "I don't deserve this." We stew, we complain, we feel the color in our world dying. Yet she, not one time, did any of that. She is truly someone I admire, and the NSA Nation is full of members who feel the same way she does. It really is about attitude!
Maybe I will never find out why life is the way it is. But you know what I have found out? That life is meant to be lived with a smile on your face, and being comfortable with who you are is vital. Adversity really does build character-and I've got a great deal of it. Why don't you start building yours today?My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Throughout my life, I have often questioned many times why life takes the twists and turns it does. We all have struggled at times with many challenges that life has thrown at us: a new chapter starts and we are unsure what to do about it. A death in our family shatters our normalcy and things never stay the same again. Yet, as the saying goes, "The more things change, the more things stay the same." And what stays the same to me, as a member of the National Stuttering Association, is the unbreakable spirit that a group of collective individuals can agree to unite for something bigger than themselves, and learn about this unique world we live in.
For many travelers around the world, the shattering took place at our local airports. With a volcanic eruption spreading ash over Europe, there was a standstill of shock and then the craziness started. There was nowhere to go, very few people to talk to-or to care about their problems. I was reading the New York Post a few days ago at a diner counter and was shaking my head at some of the responses from those stranded when a reporter asked them how they were managing. One person said (paraphrasing) "We don't deserve to be treated like animals." Another one was angry that in search of a temporary room and shower, some hotels raised the prices every day in hopes one's will would be broken and they'd give in. Yet there are some who despite the most trying of circumstances, make it through the day with a smile and their courage. One family, who seemed amused by the fact that some passengers were photographing them like a paparazzi would celebrities, decided turnabout was fair play and thus photographed those who were photographing them. Some passengers, according to the Post, decided to engage a take-off of "Twenty Questions" in a parlor game supposedly called "I'm Not Beethoven." And one young girl was making some good friends with a French compatriot, even though she didn't know a lick about the language. It brought a smile to my face, knowing that just maybe the human spirit isn't dead as it seems like sometimes it can be.
But as a person who stutters (or even if you support others who do), we have more of those moments, and although we want to give up and declare our lives over, it is unfathomable. When I speak at colleges about the NSA Nation and the transforming effects it has, the one thing I stress is that we all live through each other. We laugh together, and we celebrate all that our speech is and can be. We also cry and empathize when someone's ordeal threatens to bring down all they worked for.One of my colleagues at the NSA who has contributed her blood, sweat, and tears as we all have, was recently given some devastating news. She is a very proud mom of two daughters, one who is an SLP and the other who will be a psychologist and serves in a leadership capacity in my organization. She is a big proponent of education, and found out that after twenty-something years, she was being let go because of budgetary issues in California. My heart dropped after I read that, and as someone who strongly believes that the NSA Nation takes care of its own, I asked her to call me, and we spoke for an hour. Despite this crippling news, she maintained her sunny outlook. Many of us wear their hearts on their sleeve (I do), and when we receive bad news, we tend to immediately feel those clenches of negativity permeate our mind. We begin to ask "Why me? Why couldn't this happen to someone else?" "I don't deserve this." We stew, we complain, we feel the color in our world dying. Yet she, not one time, did any of that. She is truly someone I admire, and the NSA Nation is full of members who feel the same way she does. It really is about attitude!
Maybe I will never find out why life is the way it is. But you know what I have found out? That life is meant to be lived with a smile on your face, and being comfortable with who you are is vital. Adversity really does build character-and I've got a great deal of it. Why don't you start building yours today?My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Reflections on a birthday passed.......
Good evening everyone,
Last week I celebrated my birthday. 32 years ago, I entered this world and it would be pretty safe to say it's been a challenge. Jerry Garcia, the legendary singer of the Grateful Dead, coined the phrase "What a long, strange trip it's been," and that could certainly be applied here. But as I was having my birthday cake, I took some time to make a few quiet reflections.
I think growing up, taking a compliment for me was one of the hardest things to do. When I was given a present as a young man, especially in those turbulent adolescent years, I would feel tremendous guilt opening the gift-wrapped box. I never have had a solid relationship with my parents, and their approach was "We're sorry we never listened to you. Hope this makes up for it." How I wished at that very moment I was someone else's son.
In my late twenties, I decided to take a different approach to birthdays. I enjoy shopping for gifts when it comes to those I really, truly care about. But the more I thought about, I realized that what I wanted money couldn't really buy. At my first real job, I saved every cent I earned and would take great pleasure in frequently checking my bank statements and seeing my account grow. But after a while, I began to realize that it was taking the place of something I didn't have. I didn't have positive influences in my life. I had no one I could share my feelings with about stuttering. And as I celebrated future birthdays, I did so going out by myself. I felt there was plain and simple, no other choice. Sinead O' Connor, who gained notoriety for her performance on "Saturday Night Live," had a title of her album that succinctly described my feelings about presents: "I do not what want I have not got."
Yet birthdays can also teach us some valuable lessons too. I grew up in a middle-class-to-somewhat-affluent community on Long Island, which is heavily Jewish. In seventh grade, one of the popular trends was to collect National Hockey League player jerseys and show them off in the manner that if you had one, it was a badge of honor and a source of pride. I wanted to get a Doug Gilmour Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, a white background with the blue and white trim. When I got it, I was the happiest person for a day or so. But I didn't wear it ever again, and eventually it took up a permanent place of residence on my closet. The most sage piece of advice I ever got was be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
Special occasions are meant to be shared with those who really love and care about you. I wish I had a better relationship with my family. Many times when I go to these NSA conferences, I see this become a very powerful bonding experience for everyone, and I know that I won't ever have that. But the more I think about it, maybe I do. When I blow those candles out, I think of the NSA Nation and everyone I have met. Their contributions to my life can never be erased, because the lessons they have taught me stay in my mind every day.
When I blew those candles out this year, I realized that this year will be different. I thought about the song "Somebody To Love," by Queen, which happens to be one of my favorite songs. It also happens to be a staple on many classic radio stations. The song is a composition of themes such as wondering if love exists, and whether God does as well. Well, I can say emphatically that the answers to those questions is yes: My love is the National Stuttering Association. As far as the other question, I firmly believe there was a driving force that compelled me to spend five days in Long Beach, Calif., that rocked my world in so many ways. And I've never been the same since. I absolutely am so eternally grateful that I did.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Last week I celebrated my birthday. 32 years ago, I entered this world and it would be pretty safe to say it's been a challenge. Jerry Garcia, the legendary singer of the Grateful Dead, coined the phrase "What a long, strange trip it's been," and that could certainly be applied here. But as I was having my birthday cake, I took some time to make a few quiet reflections.
I think growing up, taking a compliment for me was one of the hardest things to do. When I was given a present as a young man, especially in those turbulent adolescent years, I would feel tremendous guilt opening the gift-wrapped box. I never have had a solid relationship with my parents, and their approach was "We're sorry we never listened to you. Hope this makes up for it." How I wished at that very moment I was someone else's son.
In my late twenties, I decided to take a different approach to birthdays. I enjoy shopping for gifts when it comes to those I really, truly care about. But the more I thought about, I realized that what I wanted money couldn't really buy. At my first real job, I saved every cent I earned and would take great pleasure in frequently checking my bank statements and seeing my account grow. But after a while, I began to realize that it was taking the place of something I didn't have. I didn't have positive influences in my life. I had no one I could share my feelings with about stuttering. And as I celebrated future birthdays, I did so going out by myself. I felt there was plain and simple, no other choice. Sinead O' Connor, who gained notoriety for her performance on "Saturday Night Live," had a title of her album that succinctly described my feelings about presents: "I do not what want I have not got."
Yet birthdays can also teach us some valuable lessons too. I grew up in a middle-class-to-somewhat-affluent community on Long Island, which is heavily Jewish. In seventh grade, one of the popular trends was to collect National Hockey League player jerseys and show them off in the manner that if you had one, it was a badge of honor and a source of pride. I wanted to get a Doug Gilmour Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, a white background with the blue and white trim. When I got it, I was the happiest person for a day or so. But I didn't wear it ever again, and eventually it took up a permanent place of residence on my closet. The most sage piece of advice I ever got was be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
Special occasions are meant to be shared with those who really love and care about you. I wish I had a better relationship with my family. Many times when I go to these NSA conferences, I see this become a very powerful bonding experience for everyone, and I know that I won't ever have that. But the more I think about it, maybe I do. When I blow those candles out, I think of the NSA Nation and everyone I have met. Their contributions to my life can never be erased, because the lessons they have taught me stay in my mind every day.
When I blew those candles out this year, I realized that this year will be different. I thought about the song "Somebody To Love," by Queen, which happens to be one of my favorite songs. It also happens to be a staple on many classic radio stations. The song is a composition of themes such as wondering if love exists, and whether God does as well. Well, I can say emphatically that the answers to those questions is yes: My love is the National Stuttering Association. As far as the other question, I firmly believe there was a driving force that compelled me to spend five days in Long Beach, Calif., that rocked my world in so many ways. And I've never been the same since. I absolutely am so eternally grateful that I did.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
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