Good evening my NSA teammates,
Today I opened up the newspaper and was reading the story of another person in the public eye who fell from grace and as a result, embarrassed not only himself, his employer, but most importantly, lost his reputation. Steve Phillips, the former general manager of the New York Mets and an ESPN analyst regarding baseball, was terminated along with a production assistant for carrying on an affair which caused great humiliation to the station. I couldn't help but compare his plight to those executives in the automotive industry who pleaded their case before Washington, crying for a bailout. What do these have in common? One word: accountability.
I decided to create a new phrase that I want to implement into my presentations not only when I speak to classes of SLP students, but in my seminars at the NSA as well. What is that phrase? "I am the CEO of my own life!" We've often heard the term "chief executive officer" or "chief operating officer" in regard to many Fortune 500 companies, as they are the face of the organization. To be a CEO in this kind of mode requires tact, patience, an ability to lead and guide those who depend on you. Sadly, these days that breed is disappearing. As I was writing this, I couldn't help but picture these people with a "Duuuuh" expression as they wondered why their companies were in the predicament they were in. Most likely, it's because they made poor decisions, or didn't even bother to take accountability for their actions.
Like many NSA teammates, I have taken my own personal journey of self-acceptance, and I feel that I am accountable to myself and the NSA in many ways. For starters, I own my stuttering and accept it as part of who I am. This was a painful and very trying task for me to undergo. The expression "The truth will set you free" was very pertinent for me in this case. I realized that in order to take accountability, I had to first stop denying the existence that I was not a person who stuttered. I would often say I spoke very slowly and deliberately, because to admit to myself that I stuttered was an admission of guilt for the longest time. That's not the case anymore.
Being not just a teammate, but a chapter leader, has also heightened my awareness when it comes to being accountable. I enjoy reading other chapter leaders discussions in their chapters, and one of the many things that makes the NSA so very special is that we demand the best from each other, and we get it. We challenge each other and push each other to not just become better teammates, but human beings as well. I have made many mistakes in my life, and learned the hard way that you do pay the consequences for your actions. One time when I was working full-time, I told my supervisor that I had done something when in reality I didn't, because I didn't want her to think I was incompetent. A few days later I got caught in a lie, and as a result, had a note go into my personnel file. That is a reflection on me, and no one else.
In the movie "Fifteen Minutes" with Robert De Niro and Edward Burns, there's a very sharp quote that makes you think: A foreigner says "I love America because no one is responsible for what they do." Does that seem to be the case sometimes? There are always stories on the news about passing the buck and blaming someone else. "It's not my fault, it's her fault," is a common refrain. Well, I can say this emphatically: "I am the CEO of my own life. The decisions I make are mine and mine alone, and I will accept whatever happens and make the best of it."
The day I said that, was the day I learned that any door can be opened.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
The NSA Nation is located at http://www.westutter.org!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Have you sold the NSA today?
Good evening my teammates,
A few days ago I was making a delivery to a local car dealership which happens to be the biggest on Long Island, Huntington Honda. I remember walking into the customer service department to drop the food off, and as I was coming out, I couldn't help but notice a brand-spanking new Honda Civic Hybrid. As I was admiring it, a saleswoman smiled and came up to me. "As much as I wish that was my new car, maybe someday in the future," I said. She smiled and turned to another customer. I said charmingly, "The way these cars are, they sell themselves."
If you grew up in the 1980s, then you probably remember Honda ran a marketing campaign that was billing their cars as "The cars that sell themselves." At this year's National Stuttering Association conference in Arizona, a presentation was made to show the tremendous strides that we have made. We are now the biggest advocacy organization for teammates who stutter around the world. We have advertisements in some of the world's most well-known magazines. But my teammates and I are not complacent at all. As the line from "High School Musical 3" goes, "Get Your Head In The Game," and that's exactly what we are doing....but at the same time, the bar is continually being raised.
Advertising is everywhere. It's not just opening the magazines anymore or watching on television. We are bombarded 24/7/365. We go to bed and we dream of something we saw earlier. When I was in Washington, DC, getting together with some NSA teammates, we rode the Metro (Washington's subway) and you see one row of continuous advertisements, from everything schools to bladder issues and how to resolve them. (Don't ask, I won't reveal any more details. Some things must not be discussed in public, after all). But what, as teammates of the NSA, can we do?
Some wear conference T-shirts all the time. A good start, for sure. However, every teammate has a different starting point on their journey of self-accecptance. Some may not feel comfortable advertising they are a person who stutters. Others are more open and aggressive with promoting the NSA. When I meet someone for the first time, I give them a firm handshake and say "Hi, I'm Steven Kaufman, NSA Long Island Chapter Leader." This blog is advertising the NSA. When I speak at colleges, that's selling the NSA.
I have great respect for those who work in sales, as it's a difficult profession-the stress of having to make a certain amount of production in order to receive commission. But when it comes to the selling of the NSA, my rewards are never monetary, and I don't need them to be. The rewards I get come at the end of the conference, or after I speak to SLP students. There is no greater feeling (although tinged with sadness) when the conference closes and you see the first-timers (the special name given to new teammates) hugging everyone and saying this forever changed their life. The same exact thing happens when students ask me questions and tell them what a great experience it is to learn about my experience.
As teammates, let's sell the NSA Nation now and forever..with the ultimate goal being a world free from judgment, bullying, and respect for all teammates.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
A few days ago I was making a delivery to a local car dealership which happens to be the biggest on Long Island, Huntington Honda. I remember walking into the customer service department to drop the food off, and as I was coming out, I couldn't help but notice a brand-spanking new Honda Civic Hybrid. As I was admiring it, a saleswoman smiled and came up to me. "As much as I wish that was my new car, maybe someday in the future," I said. She smiled and turned to another customer. I said charmingly, "The way these cars are, they sell themselves."
If you grew up in the 1980s, then you probably remember Honda ran a marketing campaign that was billing their cars as "The cars that sell themselves." At this year's National Stuttering Association conference in Arizona, a presentation was made to show the tremendous strides that we have made. We are now the biggest advocacy organization for teammates who stutter around the world. We have advertisements in some of the world's most well-known magazines. But my teammates and I are not complacent at all. As the line from "High School Musical 3" goes, "Get Your Head In The Game," and that's exactly what we are doing....but at the same time, the bar is continually being raised.
Advertising is everywhere. It's not just opening the magazines anymore or watching on television. We are bombarded 24/7/365. We go to bed and we dream of something we saw earlier. When I was in Washington, DC, getting together with some NSA teammates, we rode the Metro (Washington's subway) and you see one row of continuous advertisements, from everything schools to bladder issues and how to resolve them. (Don't ask, I won't reveal any more details. Some things must not be discussed in public, after all). But what, as teammates of the NSA, can we do?
Some wear conference T-shirts all the time. A good start, for sure. However, every teammate has a different starting point on their journey of self-accecptance. Some may not feel comfortable advertising they are a person who stutters. Others are more open and aggressive with promoting the NSA. When I meet someone for the first time, I give them a firm handshake and say "Hi, I'm Steven Kaufman, NSA Long Island Chapter Leader." This blog is advertising the NSA. When I speak at colleges, that's selling the NSA.
I have great respect for those who work in sales, as it's a difficult profession-the stress of having to make a certain amount of production in order to receive commission. But when it comes to the selling of the NSA, my rewards are never monetary, and I don't need them to be. The rewards I get come at the end of the conference, or after I speak to SLP students. There is no greater feeling (although tinged with sadness) when the conference closes and you see the first-timers (the special name given to new teammates) hugging everyone and saying this forever changed their life. The same exact thing happens when students ask me questions and tell them what a great experience it is to learn about my experience.
As teammates, let's sell the NSA Nation now and forever..with the ultimate goal being a world free from judgment, bullying, and respect for all teammates.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Good evening all my teammates! October 3rd was a very special day of excitement for me. Where I live on Long Island, we have many fans of the New York Islanders, Long Island's NHL team, and Opening Night is always a big deal. As I was wandering around the concourse before the game to check out the warmups, I came across two people who I assumed were season-ticket holders. I happened to be within earshot of their conversation, and it went a little something like this: "Hey, Johnny, how you doin?" "Looking forward to seeing our kids grow this year, especially this kid Taveras." This conversation ended with "This never gets old." That is the part I wanted to focus on, that one statement. "It never gets old," for me, refers to the honor, but more importantly, the duty I have as an NSA teammate to lecture at speech pathology classes to make sure our future SLP professionals know about the experiences of what it is like to stutter, and the birth of the NSA Nation. This past week I completed three speaking engagements in five days-first, to a graduate class at Saint Joseph's College in Patchogue, N.Y., a graduate class at Iona College in New Rochelle, N.Y., and a third to undergraduate students at Richard Stockton College in Pomona, N.J. To me, public speaking never gets old. Throughout life, you may have heard the expression "The thrill is gone."-maybe you're tired of going to that restaurant, going into the city to check out the nightlige. But for me, speaking about the NSA Nation never gets old. Every time I get up in front of a class, I know the world is listening. Whenever I read tales of my fellow chapter leaders who speak to classes, that is another sign the NSA Nation is spreading. You don't need to be a chapter leader to speak to students. Just remember that we are all teachers of our experiences stuttering. That never gets old. My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The birth of a nation.....the NSA Nation!
Good evening teammates around the world,
I do apologize for the lack of new posts lately. It may seem like a week or so, but for me it felt like an eternity. The school year is now back in effect, and there's something very special to me about the fall, and change of seasons. This is my time when I come alive. I guess you might say that I am a rare bird, because many of us enjoy the long summer nights and sizzling temperatures. Yet I enjoy the raw winds, the chill permeating from all directions.
Sept. 26 marked another special celebration of all things stuttering. On that day, teammates from various NSA chapters got together in Washington DC for a great social occasion-taking in the Atlanta Braves-Washington Nationals game at Nationals Park, followed by dinner out at Buca di Beppo in Dupont Circle. I have truly enjoyed many amazing moments and breakthroughs in my life with stuttering, which have not just taken place locally, but anywhere and everywhere. Each conference and social gathering is as unique as the next. But when you think of Washington, DC, what comes to your mind? The monuments? The ideals? The oppressive humdity in July and August? (Try waiting for a hotel shuttle at Reagan National when it's 100 degrees with 90 percent humidity-as Paris Hilton might say, "That's hot.")
Washington is the center of our nation for all guidance how our lives are shaped, and lived. When a law is passed, the eyes of the world turn there. And on the bus ride back home to New York City to catch the LIRR out to the suburbs, I began to think. What if we could create a NATION about all things stuttering? The National Stuttering Association, my greatest love, has become the biggest and most dominant advocacy organization for teammates who stutter everywhere. And like a thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky, I thought of the best way to describe all things stuttering: The NSA Nation. For teammates who stutter, by teammates who stutter.
Now while America's capital will always be Washington, the NSA Nation has no permanent location at all. Wherever you are, that is where the NSA Nation is. When you show off your sexy attitude that you will speak your mind and others are going to hear it, that's where the NSA Nation is. The NSA Nation is everywhere at all times.
If you want to be a teammate of the NSA Nation, here's all you have to know:
1. That YOU WILL speak loudly and confidently,
2. You WILL make others to hear and respect you,
3. You WILL reach out to other teammates to help them find their voices,
4. You WILL make sure SLP graduate students know the your story, and the story of the NSA Nation,
5. You WILL break the stranglehold of stuttering,
6. You WILL celebrate the NSA Nation every day.
Sept. 26 is the birth of my NSA Nation. I invite all teammates to join me.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
I do apologize for the lack of new posts lately. It may seem like a week or so, but for me it felt like an eternity. The school year is now back in effect, and there's something very special to me about the fall, and change of seasons. This is my time when I come alive. I guess you might say that I am a rare bird, because many of us enjoy the long summer nights and sizzling temperatures. Yet I enjoy the raw winds, the chill permeating from all directions.
Sept. 26 marked another special celebration of all things stuttering. On that day, teammates from various NSA chapters got together in Washington DC for a great social occasion-taking in the Atlanta Braves-Washington Nationals game at Nationals Park, followed by dinner out at Buca di Beppo in Dupont Circle. I have truly enjoyed many amazing moments and breakthroughs in my life with stuttering, which have not just taken place locally, but anywhere and everywhere. Each conference and social gathering is as unique as the next. But when you think of Washington, DC, what comes to your mind? The monuments? The ideals? The oppressive humdity in July and August? (Try waiting for a hotel shuttle at Reagan National when it's 100 degrees with 90 percent humidity-as Paris Hilton might say, "That's hot.")
Washington is the center of our nation for all guidance how our lives are shaped, and lived. When a law is passed, the eyes of the world turn there. And on the bus ride back home to New York City to catch the LIRR out to the suburbs, I began to think. What if we could create a NATION about all things stuttering? The National Stuttering Association, my greatest love, has become the biggest and most dominant advocacy organization for teammates who stutter everywhere. And like a thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky, I thought of the best way to describe all things stuttering: The NSA Nation. For teammates who stutter, by teammates who stutter.
Now while America's capital will always be Washington, the NSA Nation has no permanent location at all. Wherever you are, that is where the NSA Nation is. When you show off your sexy attitude that you will speak your mind and others are going to hear it, that's where the NSA Nation is. The NSA Nation is everywhere at all times.
If you want to be a teammate of the NSA Nation, here's all you have to know:
1. That YOU WILL speak loudly and confidently,
2. You WILL make others to hear and respect you,
3. You WILL reach out to other teammates to help them find their voices,
4. You WILL make sure SLP graduate students know the your story, and the story of the NSA Nation,
5. You WILL break the stranglehold of stuttering,
6. You WILL celebrate the NSA Nation every day.
Sept. 26 is the birth of my NSA Nation. I invite all teammates to join me.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Good evening everyone,
I have to begin this entry of the blog by saying that I believe. I believe in my teammates at the National Stuttering Association more than anything else. I believe that the world, despite everything that goes on it, is still a welcoming place where all opinions are accepted and values for what they are. I don't care if anyone thinks I am naive when I say that, and I hope when you read this you'll understand why. Most importantly of all, I believe we all have the power to make a difference, and we all have the two most important qualities needed to do so: "Passion" and "Drive."
These two qualities, which are not in short supply anymore, were evident at a special event that I was truly honored to be a part of. Last night, my NSA co-chapter leader was honored as a member of the Long Island community making a difference. For those of you who are unaware, the Long Island Press (http://www.longislandpress.com) is a major media outlet in the world of alternative publications. Every week, the "Fortune 52" column (named after the associate publisher of the newspaper) profiles a woman who is truly creating a significant contribution to our region. I, along with several others, nominated Lori to be profiled. I was delighted to receive a call from the associate publisher, who met with her and was blown away by her accomplishments. There were so many honorees, from a woman who is the head of an organization for head injuries, to a pastor of a church that works to help youth in her community become more involved with appreciation for the arts. The event was held at the Tilles Center, on the campus of Long Island University, my alma mater.
My co-chapter leader was the first one recognized, and she was very humble when she was interviewed. Like many NSA teammates, she has faced many professional challenges. An original accountant, she struggled with her speech and eventually decided to pursue her Master's degree as an SLP practitioner. One school actually told her she'd never make it because of her speech. Not only does she have her own practice, and she's running (along with another of my teammates) the TWST (Teens Who Stutter) chapter, she lectures at schools. But that's just only a measure of the true impact she has.
I never felt in my life that I wanted to volunteer for anything...after all, I used to subscribe to the theory that "You just can't fight City Hall." But it was my co-chapter leader, along two other teammates, who challenged me to be a chapter leader. They saw the fire and desire in my eyes. It's because of them that I went from just "speaking" to "speaking with passion." There IS a difference between communicating and speaking. But now I know that we all have the power to make a difference. I firmly believe that I've been given a special gift, to help my teammates who stutter in any way possible. I absolutely love my meetings the third Thursday of the month when we all come together.
The biggest thrill, though, was yet to come. Two women approached Lori, one of which had a 14-year old son who stutters. She began to get so emotional talking about it, and just to sit back and watch her speak to the mother was truly inspirational. I was there merely as a supporter, for this was her night to shine. I always end my blog with "Stand up and be counted, make your voice heard." I guarantee you, her voice was heard loud and clear that night, and she received a tremendous amount of congratulatory accolades.
Before I left, though, I had the pleasure to chat with the publisher of The Long Island Press, who is very civically active and has had active interests not just in radio, but print media and making the Island a better place to live. I was discussing with him how I got started in journalism, and how I grew disillusioned that everything now is about money when it comes to media, and how writing used to be about calling out others for their wrongdoings. I doubt I will ever go back to journalism again, but to be honest, maybe my writing skills haven't faded. Especially with this blog, I never run out of things to say. And if you're an NSA teammate, you will never run out of things to say.
It's nights like these that make me celebrate the greatest power anyone can have: To stand in front of the mirror, or anywhere, and say: "I WILL make a difference today."
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person that stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
I have to begin this entry of the blog by saying that I believe. I believe in my teammates at the National Stuttering Association more than anything else. I believe that the world, despite everything that goes on it, is still a welcoming place where all opinions are accepted and values for what they are. I don't care if anyone thinks I am naive when I say that, and I hope when you read this you'll understand why. Most importantly of all, I believe we all have the power to make a difference, and we all have the two most important qualities needed to do so: "Passion" and "Drive."
These two qualities, which are not in short supply anymore, were evident at a special event that I was truly honored to be a part of. Last night, my NSA co-chapter leader was honored as a member of the Long Island community making a difference. For those of you who are unaware, the Long Island Press (http://www.longislandpress.com) is a major media outlet in the world of alternative publications. Every week, the "Fortune 52" column (named after the associate publisher of the newspaper) profiles a woman who is truly creating a significant contribution to our region. I, along with several others, nominated Lori to be profiled. I was delighted to receive a call from the associate publisher, who met with her and was blown away by her accomplishments. There were so many honorees, from a woman who is the head of an organization for head injuries, to a pastor of a church that works to help youth in her community become more involved with appreciation for the arts. The event was held at the Tilles Center, on the campus of Long Island University, my alma mater.
My co-chapter leader was the first one recognized, and she was very humble when she was interviewed. Like many NSA teammates, she has faced many professional challenges. An original accountant, she struggled with her speech and eventually decided to pursue her Master's degree as an SLP practitioner. One school actually told her she'd never make it because of her speech. Not only does she have her own practice, and she's running (along with another of my teammates) the TWST (Teens Who Stutter) chapter, she lectures at schools. But that's just only a measure of the true impact she has.
I never felt in my life that I wanted to volunteer for anything...after all, I used to subscribe to the theory that "You just can't fight City Hall." But it was my co-chapter leader, along two other teammates, who challenged me to be a chapter leader. They saw the fire and desire in my eyes. It's because of them that I went from just "speaking" to "speaking with passion." There IS a difference between communicating and speaking. But now I know that we all have the power to make a difference. I firmly believe that I've been given a special gift, to help my teammates who stutter in any way possible. I absolutely love my meetings the third Thursday of the month when we all come together.
The biggest thrill, though, was yet to come. Two women approached Lori, one of which had a 14-year old son who stutters. She began to get so emotional talking about it, and just to sit back and watch her speak to the mother was truly inspirational. I was there merely as a supporter, for this was her night to shine. I always end my blog with "Stand up and be counted, make your voice heard." I guarantee you, her voice was heard loud and clear that night, and she received a tremendous amount of congratulatory accolades.
Before I left, though, I had the pleasure to chat with the publisher of The Long Island Press, who is very civically active and has had active interests not just in radio, but print media and making the Island a better place to live. I was discussing with him how I got started in journalism, and how I grew disillusioned that everything now is about money when it comes to media, and how writing used to be about calling out others for their wrongdoings. I doubt I will ever go back to journalism again, but to be honest, maybe my writing skills haven't faded. Especially with this blog, I never run out of things to say. And if you're an NSA teammate, you will never run out of things to say.
It's nights like these that make me celebrate the greatest power anyone can have: To stand in front of the mirror, or anywhere, and say: "I WILL make a difference today."
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person that stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Do you want an NSA teammate to lose respect for you? Then say these words...
Good evening everyone,
As we turn the page to fall, I must say I love this time of the year. Not because it's the calm before the raw winter nights with crisp air that pierce our senses, not because it's kickoff for the NFL and fall festivals, but because there's something about September that gets me all revved up-the feeling of knowing that there is so much more to accomplish in life and for the cause of stuttering as well.
I wanted to use this edition of my blog to talk about an action that has a dire consequence. One of the very first lessons I learned as a teammate who was getting involved with the NSA was to respect myself-and respecting yourself means others. We've all had situations at jobs where there may be a colleague that we just can't stand, who has annoying habits that drive us up the wall-maybe it's playing the music loud, or taking credit for something we might have contributed to making the workplace productive. I love my teammates, and I also know that are times we can get on each other's nerves. But there's one phrase that will guarantee that an NSA teammate will lose all respect for you, and you'll never get it back. Just say these words, and here they are:
"You threw me under the bus."
This phrase has probably been uttered countless times in the sports locker rooms, but it doesn't have more of an impact than it does today. Being a teammate and a leader in the NSA means accepting that we need to come together for the sake of greater glory. Watch what happens when it's reported that someone complains that another is being paid more, and then it is blown up in the media, because things like that should be kept in-house. Too many times in high school and college I was teased and rather than stand up for myself, I would run to the principal to make the problem go away. The more appropriate thing to do would have been to stand up for myself and approach the person face-to-face and try to work the problem out. Instead, I threw him under the bus. And along with that, I lost my self-respect in the process.
When I think of the phrase "to throw someone under the bus," I think about NHL star forward Dany Heatley. A good scorer, yes, but a very poor teammate. If you don't know his story, Heatley was drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers and suffered through a very emotionally trying experience: he was charged with vehicular homicide when he drove too fast and killed his teammate. The family of the teammate who died (Dan Snyder) could have told him to go to hell, and they would have been justified in saying so. But the Thrashers team and community supported him, even saying nothing would be gained by imprisoning him. And how did Heatley respond? He asked to be traded. He moved to the Ottawa Senators, and complained about how he was being treated. The coach found it "hard to accept," and he was again dealt-a reputation follows you everywhere. If you care about yourself and your fellow teammates, don't ever throw one under the bus. My relationships with my NSA teammates mean everything to me. They are a very important part of my life, and need to be cherished. So do your relationships.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
As we turn the page to fall, I must say I love this time of the year. Not because it's the calm before the raw winter nights with crisp air that pierce our senses, not because it's kickoff for the NFL and fall festivals, but because there's something about September that gets me all revved up-the feeling of knowing that there is so much more to accomplish in life and for the cause of stuttering as well.
I wanted to use this edition of my blog to talk about an action that has a dire consequence. One of the very first lessons I learned as a teammate who was getting involved with the NSA was to respect myself-and respecting yourself means others. We've all had situations at jobs where there may be a colleague that we just can't stand, who has annoying habits that drive us up the wall-maybe it's playing the music loud, or taking credit for something we might have contributed to making the workplace productive. I love my teammates, and I also know that are times we can get on each other's nerves. But there's one phrase that will guarantee that an NSA teammate will lose all respect for you, and you'll never get it back. Just say these words, and here they are:
"You threw me under the bus."
This phrase has probably been uttered countless times in the sports locker rooms, but it doesn't have more of an impact than it does today. Being a teammate and a leader in the NSA means accepting that we need to come together for the sake of greater glory. Watch what happens when it's reported that someone complains that another is being paid more, and then it is blown up in the media, because things like that should be kept in-house. Too many times in high school and college I was teased and rather than stand up for myself, I would run to the principal to make the problem go away. The more appropriate thing to do would have been to stand up for myself and approach the person face-to-face and try to work the problem out. Instead, I threw him under the bus. And along with that, I lost my self-respect in the process.
When I think of the phrase "to throw someone under the bus," I think about NHL star forward Dany Heatley. A good scorer, yes, but a very poor teammate. If you don't know his story, Heatley was drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers and suffered through a very emotionally trying experience: he was charged with vehicular homicide when he drove too fast and killed his teammate. The family of the teammate who died (Dan Snyder) could have told him to go to hell, and they would have been justified in saying so. But the Thrashers team and community supported him, even saying nothing would be gained by imprisoning him. And how did Heatley respond? He asked to be traded. He moved to the Ottawa Senators, and complained about how he was being treated. The coach found it "hard to accept," and he was again dealt-a reputation follows you everywhere. If you care about yourself and your fellow teammates, don't ever throw one under the bus. My relationships with my NSA teammates mean everything to me. They are a very important part of my life, and need to be cherished. So do your relationships.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
My teammates and I don't know what it means to second-guess!
Good evening everyone,
It's so amazing to me how you can have such an insightful conversation with anyone wherever you are. You could be on line at the local cafe, waiting to buy that new must-have electronic device at the local department store, or just stopping to chat with a passerby walking their dog. Yesterday, I happened to have one of those conversations. Wednesday night is my late night because after work, I have speech therapy at 8 p.m. There's a gap of three hours between the time I leave work, and that's because rather than drive one hour in the opposite direction, I'll go get dinner and spend the rest of my time walking by the marina to get my daily exercise.
Well, I stopped off at a local place called Vinny's Mulberry Street. The food there happens to be great, but it's a place I love because my speech therapist's brother-in-law owns it, and he treats me well. (No, I don't get free food LOL). This was a weeknight and for the most part it was all quiet, just me coming in and the waitresses chatting in the back amongst themselves. The server (her name was "Jessica") came up to greet me and about half an hour later, while I was in the midst enjoying a date with a dish of baked ziti and a side of meatballs, she asked how everything was, and we struck up a conversation. It turns out that she was a recent college graduate, and like many others, was struggling to find work in this economy. She was looking to move to New York City and begin her career in fashion marketing/advertising. She was waiting while she was looking for work, and said she was proud that she was making an honest living. But toward the end, she made a comment about the circumstance she found herself in. She said "I took a year off because of some things I had to take care of. Everyone else I know has jobs. Maybe if I continued my studies, I would have found something by now."
We often second-guess ourselves because that's human nature. In fact, there's a term that someone I know uses to describe that practice: "overanalysis paralysis." We watch "It's A Wonderful Life" and wonder what would have happened if we weren't born. We think about the paths we took....and who we dated and fell in love with, thinking about what may have happened if it was another person. But the truth be told, second-guessing doesn't give us any real comfort. The only thing we can do is move forward and let our future be written by ourselves.
I too have had two major decisions in my life, and one of them I do admit I second-guessed for a long time until I realized that the moment I thought about the past was the moment I start to live in it. Although I am a native Long Islander, I once lived out of state in Maryland in a rural community. It was really unlike anything I'd known, I moved down there to accept a job offer. I distinctly remember driving through Dover, Del., and once you go through there, you cross the Mason-Dixon line, which officially separates the north from the south, and boy, did things change....NASCAR signs, biblical signs, I wondered what did I get myself into. It didn't work out down there, but I learned a great deal about myself-people down there work hard for a living just like you and I do, but it's done in different ways. Maybe they don't wear business attire, but they are up early with farmer's hours. I have great respect for that. I learned that country music does rock. In fact, I do get it when someone thinks a tractor is sexy.
I remember my parents for the longest time second-guessed my trip to Long Beach for the NSA conference that forever changed my life in so many ways. I don't have room in my life for second-guessing, and neither should you. We all make mistakes, we're human. And we do learn from experience. I learned that second-guessing should not be a part of the way you act and what you do.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person that stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
It's so amazing to me how you can have such an insightful conversation with anyone wherever you are. You could be on line at the local cafe, waiting to buy that new must-have electronic device at the local department store, or just stopping to chat with a passerby walking their dog. Yesterday, I happened to have one of those conversations. Wednesday night is my late night because after work, I have speech therapy at 8 p.m. There's a gap of three hours between the time I leave work, and that's because rather than drive one hour in the opposite direction, I'll go get dinner and spend the rest of my time walking by the marina to get my daily exercise.
Well, I stopped off at a local place called Vinny's Mulberry Street. The food there happens to be great, but it's a place I love because my speech therapist's brother-in-law owns it, and he treats me well. (No, I don't get free food LOL). This was a weeknight and for the most part it was all quiet, just me coming in and the waitresses chatting in the back amongst themselves. The server (her name was "Jessica") came up to greet me and about half an hour later, while I was in the midst enjoying a date with a dish of baked ziti and a side of meatballs, she asked how everything was, and we struck up a conversation. It turns out that she was a recent college graduate, and like many others, was struggling to find work in this economy. She was looking to move to New York City and begin her career in fashion marketing/advertising. She was waiting while she was looking for work, and said she was proud that she was making an honest living. But toward the end, she made a comment about the circumstance she found herself in. She said "I took a year off because of some things I had to take care of. Everyone else I know has jobs. Maybe if I continued my studies, I would have found something by now."
We often second-guess ourselves because that's human nature. In fact, there's a term that someone I know uses to describe that practice: "overanalysis paralysis." We watch "It's A Wonderful Life" and wonder what would have happened if we weren't born. We think about the paths we took....and who we dated and fell in love with, thinking about what may have happened if it was another person. But the truth be told, second-guessing doesn't give us any real comfort. The only thing we can do is move forward and let our future be written by ourselves.
I too have had two major decisions in my life, and one of them I do admit I second-guessed for a long time until I realized that the moment I thought about the past was the moment I start to live in it. Although I am a native Long Islander, I once lived out of state in Maryland in a rural community. It was really unlike anything I'd known, I moved down there to accept a job offer. I distinctly remember driving through Dover, Del., and once you go through there, you cross the Mason-Dixon line, which officially separates the north from the south, and boy, did things change....NASCAR signs, biblical signs, I wondered what did I get myself into. It didn't work out down there, but I learned a great deal about myself-people down there work hard for a living just like you and I do, but it's done in different ways. Maybe they don't wear business attire, but they are up early with farmer's hours. I have great respect for that. I learned that country music does rock. In fact, I do get it when someone thinks a tractor is sexy.
I remember my parents for the longest time second-guessed my trip to Long Beach for the NSA conference that forever changed my life in so many ways. I don't have room in my life for second-guessing, and neither should you. We all make mistakes, we're human. And we do learn from experience. I learned that second-guessing should not be a part of the way you act and what you do.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person that stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
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