Good evening everyone,
The first official day of summer came and passed quietly, but yet it does not feel like summer here in the Northeast. Still, I do not complain, but rather relish the cool, raw breezes that greet me to the dawn of the day. I wanted to use this edition of the blog to talk about summer and what it means to me as a teammate who stutters. William Shakespeare, whose works I read to this day and still embrace the lessons that have pertinent meaning, once wrote in "Richard III" a famous line that utters the phrase "the winter of our discontent," from Act I, Scene I. For one who stutters, there is no seaon of their discontent. The feelings of shame, isolation, and guilt last all year round, which often attack the psyche and self-worth.
The summer is often associated with long, sunny days, laughing, and a cheerfulness of innocence, that is so precious because we only get three months of the year dedicated to that....but sometimes Indian summer is bestowed on us and it makes it even more special. But growing up as a child, I held on to those times because for the first time it made me feel that I could be seen as just another person in the world. I never had the luxury of going to sleepaway camp, but for four years, I enjoyed being a camper at Camp Kenwal, learning in the Athletic Development specialty area. I wasn't seen as "Steven the Stutterer," I didn't have to endure the "Here comes the stutterer" comments, I was just seen as Steven, one kid who wanted to talk to others and participate. I came into my own those years, but like the swoon of humid August days, those days came and went, and it was soon back to school.
I've blogged on here about the painful and cruel experiences of high school and college. In some ways, I am very grateful for the opportunity, but more importantly the calling, to work with teammates of all ages and show them how their stutter never needs to hold them hostage. But I can say emphatically that the years of my discontent ended with a few days in Long Beach, Calif. And in less than three weeks, it will be time for another conference on the West Coast. A chance to re-ignite my flame and passion for stuttering, which has never gone out at all...because I won't let it.
I've been asked by some teammates to describe the National Stuttering Association conference. There's so many adjectives out there it's quite feasible every one would be exhausted just trying to make attempts. But each conference is unique in its own way. There are some universal themes, though. In some ways, it's part summer camp. It's part bonding. It's a big part education. It's about the journey. Let me reemphasize that, because it's important: It's the JOURNEY. The ultimate goal for any teammate who stutters is self-acceptance, but the journey is what transforms us into who we are. It's the experiences....the laughing, the tears. It's about the closing banquet, conversing and relating, slow dancing and just knowing that all is right with the world, if only for a few days.
Lita Ford once sang "If I close my eyes forever, will it remain the same?" Well in a few short days, it will be. We'll pick up where we left off-and I hope you'll join us. If I can help you on your journey, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here for all my teammates around the world.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Don't be a stuttering asshole!
Good evening everyone,
A few weeks ago I was perusing the local aisles of the library and while I was focusing on books in the careers and workplace section, I came across a book that just darted out at me. Have you ever had one of those moments? I'm sure you have....you're just casually looking, and all of a sudden, the thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky hits you: "Read me! Take me home!" you visualize the book talking to you. That's exactly what I did. And it was all because of the title.
The title of the book was "The No Asshole Zone." Now there's a great conversation starter if there ever was one. The book talks about how co-workers who are genuine certified assholes can ruin the environment for others-how their negative energy zaps people, what you can do to avoid them (or interact with them if you must), and why they are the way they are. The more I began to read, I realized that before I found the National Stuttering Association, I was...a stuttering asshole in how I treated myself and others.
So what exactly makes a "stuttering asshole?" For starters, it's how you treat yourself. The psyche is such a very powerful, yet sensitive instrument of the human mind. We can alter it from one extreme to another: We can make ourselves self-confident and aware that our life can be lived with vigor, passion, and enthusiasm for stuttering. On the other hand, if you let the pendulum swing the other direction, you become a bearer of your feelings on others-and you impose those feelings of guilt, shame, humiliation...because if you have to endure being a person who stutters, so should the rest of the world so they can experience what it's like.
For so many years, I was so angry and wrapped up in those emotions that I couldn't even look at a world outside myself. I found myself consumed with the need to make others feel so bad that it was all I knew. A "stuttering asshole" is one who isn't in touch with their feelings. They're one who instead of reaching up to inspire others and help them with their journey of self-acceptance, likes to put down others because it makes them feel good.
Someone once put as their personal quote on AOL "Don't pay attention to those in your past, because there is a reason they didn't make it into your future." Well, I can guarantee that if you be a "stuttering asshole," no one will want you in their future. I know where my future lies-I want teammates who will stand up for me, the way I stand up for them. Don't be a stuttering asshole.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
A few weeks ago I was perusing the local aisles of the library and while I was focusing on books in the careers and workplace section, I came across a book that just darted out at me. Have you ever had one of those moments? I'm sure you have....you're just casually looking, and all of a sudden, the thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky hits you: "Read me! Take me home!" you visualize the book talking to you. That's exactly what I did. And it was all because of the title.
The title of the book was "The No Asshole Zone." Now there's a great conversation starter if there ever was one. The book talks about how co-workers who are genuine certified assholes can ruin the environment for others-how their negative energy zaps people, what you can do to avoid them (or interact with them if you must), and why they are the way they are. The more I began to read, I realized that before I found the National Stuttering Association, I was...a stuttering asshole in how I treated myself and others.
So what exactly makes a "stuttering asshole?" For starters, it's how you treat yourself. The psyche is such a very powerful, yet sensitive instrument of the human mind. We can alter it from one extreme to another: We can make ourselves self-confident and aware that our life can be lived with vigor, passion, and enthusiasm for stuttering. On the other hand, if you let the pendulum swing the other direction, you become a bearer of your feelings on others-and you impose those feelings of guilt, shame, humiliation...because if you have to endure being a person who stutters, so should the rest of the world so they can experience what it's like.
For so many years, I was so angry and wrapped up in those emotions that I couldn't even look at a world outside myself. I found myself consumed with the need to make others feel so bad that it was all I knew. A "stuttering asshole" is one who isn't in touch with their feelings. They're one who instead of reaching up to inspire others and help them with their journey of self-acceptance, likes to put down others because it makes them feel good.
Someone once put as their personal quote on AOL "Don't pay attention to those in your past, because there is a reason they didn't make it into your future." Well, I can guarantee that if you be a "stuttering asshole," no one will want you in their future. I know where my future lies-I want teammates who will stand up for me, the way I stand up for them. Don't be a stuttering asshole.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The choice to be angry or not is yours....what do you choose?
Good afternoon everyone,
Although I am recovering from the flu right now, I had to post regarding a tragedy that took place this past week at the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. James von Brunn, who was identified as a white supremacist, killed a security guard who opened the door for him, and if not for the quick thinking of two other officers, more visitors might have been injured. In the days after this horrific event, we learned how vitriolic this person's thoughts really were and how they had built up over time, leading to his violent rampage.
Having faced the challenges of stuttering all my life, I can say emphatically that there have been times where I have gotten angry. I am sure my NSA teammates have all felt this way at some points in their journey of self-acceptance. I matured late in life, and learned many lessons the hard way. I'd lash out at the rest of the world every time I had a block, whenever I was passed over by a teacher in high school I'd bang my hand on the desk and say "But I want to be heard!," which often the end result would be a written reprimand and/or detention. It would get much worse though-when there were parent-teacher conferences, my parents would often come home and I'd have to hear something to the effect of "Steven doesn't know how to control himself."
Anger often clouds our judgment and in an extreme, makes us say and do things to others we normally wouldn't do. But then there are those ultra-extreme situations, where someone can hate someone or something so much that the fabric of reasoning and rational thinking rips apart so easily-in essence, you become so desensitized that you don't care about anything anymore. You don't want to grow, you don't want to change, all you care about is feeding that anger until it consumes you. Then you don't recognize the person you've become...all you care about is making others feel the way you do. It's not fun at all. I know, I've been there. All my NSA teammates have felt the razor-sharp piercings of teasing, bullying, isolation from all they know. I often think back to the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, from the movie "Ciy of Angels." There's one line that stands out that goes "I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand. When everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."
Yet despite the image that being angry carries a negative vibe, the truth is in many situations, if you apply the right type of positive thinking, and give that anger a voice and a purpose to help others, you can develop into a better teammate. Friday I was watching Oprah Winfrey briefly, and she was talking with John Walsh. Walsh, for many years, was the creator and host of "America's Most Wanted" on FOX-TV. He suffered through a tragedy no one should have to bear: his son, Adam, was kidnapped and eventually decapitated. For a long time, he struggled to identify the killer and after confirming his suspicions on who it was, Walsh gave his anger a voice: founding the Adam Walsh Child Resource Center, which merged with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. His work on TV has led to 1,000 criminals being arrested and removed from today's streets.
When I found out that I stuttered, I was angry in many ways. I was angry that I felt "shunned," and unable to enjoy social activities that many of us take for granted. But now more than ever, I have to say I am lucky I stutter. I learned how to take my anger and make it the best positive force in my life. I have the greatest teammates in the world who I love more than life itself. And there's the National Stuttering Association....which always has my heart.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Although I am recovering from the flu right now, I had to post regarding a tragedy that took place this past week at the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. James von Brunn, who was identified as a white supremacist, killed a security guard who opened the door for him, and if not for the quick thinking of two other officers, more visitors might have been injured. In the days after this horrific event, we learned how vitriolic this person's thoughts really were and how they had built up over time, leading to his violent rampage.
Having faced the challenges of stuttering all my life, I can say emphatically that there have been times where I have gotten angry. I am sure my NSA teammates have all felt this way at some points in their journey of self-acceptance. I matured late in life, and learned many lessons the hard way. I'd lash out at the rest of the world every time I had a block, whenever I was passed over by a teacher in high school I'd bang my hand on the desk and say "But I want to be heard!," which often the end result would be a written reprimand and/or detention. It would get much worse though-when there were parent-teacher conferences, my parents would often come home and I'd have to hear something to the effect of "Steven doesn't know how to control himself."
Anger often clouds our judgment and in an extreme, makes us say and do things to others we normally wouldn't do. But then there are those ultra-extreme situations, where someone can hate someone or something so much that the fabric of reasoning and rational thinking rips apart so easily-in essence, you become so desensitized that you don't care about anything anymore. You don't want to grow, you don't want to change, all you care about is feeding that anger until it consumes you. Then you don't recognize the person you've become...all you care about is making others feel the way you do. It's not fun at all. I know, I've been there. All my NSA teammates have felt the razor-sharp piercings of teasing, bullying, isolation from all they know. I often think back to the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, from the movie "Ciy of Angels." There's one line that stands out that goes "I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand. When everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."
Yet despite the image that being angry carries a negative vibe, the truth is in many situations, if you apply the right type of positive thinking, and give that anger a voice and a purpose to help others, you can develop into a better teammate. Friday I was watching Oprah Winfrey briefly, and she was talking with John Walsh. Walsh, for many years, was the creator and host of "America's Most Wanted" on FOX-TV. He suffered through a tragedy no one should have to bear: his son, Adam, was kidnapped and eventually decapitated. For a long time, he struggled to identify the killer and after confirming his suspicions on who it was, Walsh gave his anger a voice: founding the Adam Walsh Child Resource Center, which merged with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. His work on TV has led to 1,000 criminals being arrested and removed from today's streets.
When I found out that I stuttered, I was angry in many ways. I was angry that I felt "shunned," and unable to enjoy social activities that many of us take for granted. But now more than ever, I have to say I am lucky I stutter. I learned how to take my anger and make it the best positive force in my life. I have the greatest teammates in the world who I love more than life itself. And there's the National Stuttering Association....which always has my heart.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
What type of revolution will you start?
Good evening everyone,
As I was surfing the Internet this past week, I found out that one the significant world-turning events celebrated its twenteith anniversary. I'll never forget the photo of one man standing in front of four tanks representing the People's Liberation Army in Tianamen Square, defying the will of what symbolism those tanks represented. In today's world, there have been many moments that have forever altered the landscape of the society we live in: The Berlin Wall coming down. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy. More recently, the horrifying attacks of September 11, 2001.
As I was reading the latest edition of The Hockey News, I couldn't help but pay keen attention to an article called "Defection," which profiled the story of Alexander (The Great) Mogilny, who became the first Russian professional hockey player to defect to the National Hockey League. In this piece, the writer talks about how whether he intended to or not, Mogilny launched a revolution for other players from Russia to come to the United States to play, and facing strict punishment (and being targeted for turning traitor to their country) for doing so. Mogilny did not want to relive this event, but when asked why he did it, he said bluntly and poignantly "I did it for freedom. If the bird can fly and the fish can swim, you have to be able to move around the world and be free and not watched constantly. If a human being doesn't have freedom, that's not life. It's like living in a cage. To me, you might as well be dead."
Think about the last two lines of that statement. For my teammates who stutter, at one time, we were all living in self-imposed cages. Trapped by our vocal spasms. Forced to live in isolation because we had no other choice but to do so. Stuttering can be mild to severe, we all know this. Regardless of what type of diagnosis you might be given when it comes to your speech, a parent hearing the words "Your child stutters" could interpret that as a death sentence. Imagine, going through life and struggling to say what you want. Even if it's ordering a sandwich at the local restaurant. We live that every day. Hell, I just did today, and it was ordering linguini bolognese at the local pizzeria.
But just like with the revolution Mogilny launched, you too can start your own revolution within yourself. Maybe today you'll talk to a teammate about your speech and the challenges you faced today. Maybe you'll walk up to a person on the street, smile and say "Hello!"-and who cares if it comes out "h-h-h-hello." You can fire a thousand salvos that will provide you with amazing self-confidence. It may make you scared. But imagine this: one person sacrificed their citizenship, even never again seeing their wife and daughter. You will reap so many rewards by doing so. You may very well find that your life, as a teammate, begins now.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
As I was surfing the Internet this past week, I found out that one the significant world-turning events celebrated its twenteith anniversary. I'll never forget the photo of one man standing in front of four tanks representing the People's Liberation Army in Tianamen Square, defying the will of what symbolism those tanks represented. In today's world, there have been many moments that have forever altered the landscape of the society we live in: The Berlin Wall coming down. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy. More recently, the horrifying attacks of September 11, 2001.
As I was reading the latest edition of The Hockey News, I couldn't help but pay keen attention to an article called "Defection," which profiled the story of Alexander (The Great) Mogilny, who became the first Russian professional hockey player to defect to the National Hockey League. In this piece, the writer talks about how whether he intended to or not, Mogilny launched a revolution for other players from Russia to come to the United States to play, and facing strict punishment (and being targeted for turning traitor to their country) for doing so. Mogilny did not want to relive this event, but when asked why he did it, he said bluntly and poignantly "I did it for freedom. If the bird can fly and the fish can swim, you have to be able to move around the world and be free and not watched constantly. If a human being doesn't have freedom, that's not life. It's like living in a cage. To me, you might as well be dead."
Think about the last two lines of that statement. For my teammates who stutter, at one time, we were all living in self-imposed cages. Trapped by our vocal spasms. Forced to live in isolation because we had no other choice but to do so. Stuttering can be mild to severe, we all know this. Regardless of what type of diagnosis you might be given when it comes to your speech, a parent hearing the words "Your child stutters" could interpret that as a death sentence. Imagine, going through life and struggling to say what you want. Even if it's ordering a sandwich at the local restaurant. We live that every day. Hell, I just did today, and it was ordering linguini bolognese at the local pizzeria.
But just like with the revolution Mogilny launched, you too can start your own revolution within yourself. Maybe today you'll talk to a teammate about your speech and the challenges you faced today. Maybe you'll walk up to a person on the street, smile and say "Hello!"-and who cares if it comes out "h-h-h-hello." You can fire a thousand salvos that will provide you with amazing self-confidence. It may make you scared. But imagine this: one person sacrificed their citizenship, even never again seeing their wife and daughter. You will reap so many rewards by doing so. You may very well find that your life, as a teammate, begins now.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Stuttering and Washington, DC....it never made more beautiful music!
Good evening everyone. As I write this edition of the blog, I literally am feeling such an overwhelming pride and deep indebtedness for the National Stuttering Association and what can happen when teammates from different regions come together for a special event, dedicated with one purpose: to celebrate and embrace how wonderful being a teammate who stutters can be.
A few months ago, I approached one of my teammates, who is the leader of the Rockville, Md. chapter(Rockville is an affluent suburb located off I-270, eight miles northwest of Washington, DC) and asked him if he would be interested in coordinating with me to set up a workshop with a fellow teammate and former chapter leader of a Texas region. This teammate has accomplished a great deal in his life, such as working for a software company for 35 years and having a son who serves his country as a fighter pilot. He has traveled to different NSA chapters hosting his workshop, designed to teach how to "stutter successfully." To be honest, we were unsure if we could make this happen. It took emails, long distance calls, conference calls, interactions with other parties (such as a student chapter of NSSLHA, the National Student Speech Language Hearing Association). But on May 30th, "Successful Stuttering: It's Time To Live" took place at George Washington University, with 20+ teammates from all over the East Coast: Long Island, New York City, Baltimore, DC, Maryland, Virginia (and even a teammate who drove five and a half hours to see the speaker) gathered to learn about empowerment and motivation. We learned about a golden key and if it can unlock the doors to our personal freedom to stutter. We learned that we do have a choice: to make a day a great one, or a terrible one, and to impart that (or not) on others. But most importantly, we learned that we are unique and special.
I will never forget key moments at this presentation. At the NSA conference, we have an event called "Open Mike" where any teammate can come up and say what is on his/her mind. If they can only say their name, that's great. If they want to say how wonderful the conference is, that's encouraged. Not at one time did anyone have to feel prompted to get up. All of us did. One woman struggled so mightily and was breaking down in tears, but she continued doggedly until she said what she wanted to. That is not only awe-inspiring, but true power taken back from stuttering. Another teammate said that attending this workshop helped her with an "attitude adjustment" that she sorely needed. Another said that it was such an amazing experience to be in the presence of others who are so positive. A teammate who just graduated with her SLP degree stated how she's looking forward to working with clients and how great this event was. Not to mention of course that the student chapter of NSSLHA was co-sponsoring this event. These chapters are the future speech pathologists-they need to get involved with the NSA!
I chose to have this workshop in Washington, DC, not just because of the location (after all, it is central to so many cities and you can easily fly/drive/take a train there), but because to me, Washington DC symbolizes the chances to be who you are. To do what you want, to know that the opportunity exists and you can make a difference in your life or someone else's. I may be naive in some ways, but I do believe that people come to live (and work) in Washington because they believe in something bigger than themselves. That's the main reason why I joined the National Stuttering Association, and why I love helping other teammates become stronger and resilient when facing challenges in their life.
Before I left to take Amtrak home from Union Station, I did something that I am very proud of. I took the Metro to the Smithsonian station, and walked to the Jefferson Memorial. Climbing the top steps, and standing in front of Jefferson's statue, I saw myself transported back to the early days of this country, when a brave few dared to stand up and make a difference. At that moment, I realized that on my worst day when I stutter significantly, to me, life is beautiful. I leaned back and yelled "I love life!" as loudly as I could. Yes, I know some stared at me, and I may have drawn the wrong kind of attention. But it's true. When you stutter, life is BEAUTIFUL. Don't ever let an NSA teammate tell you it's not.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
A few months ago, I approached one of my teammates, who is the leader of the Rockville, Md. chapter(Rockville is an affluent suburb located off I-270, eight miles northwest of Washington, DC) and asked him if he would be interested in coordinating with me to set up a workshop with a fellow teammate and former chapter leader of a Texas region. This teammate has accomplished a great deal in his life, such as working for a software company for 35 years and having a son who serves his country as a fighter pilot. He has traveled to different NSA chapters hosting his workshop, designed to teach how to "stutter successfully." To be honest, we were unsure if we could make this happen. It took emails, long distance calls, conference calls, interactions with other parties (such as a student chapter of NSSLHA, the National Student Speech Language Hearing Association). But on May 30th, "Successful Stuttering: It's Time To Live" took place at George Washington University, with 20+ teammates from all over the East Coast: Long Island, New York City, Baltimore, DC, Maryland, Virginia (and even a teammate who drove five and a half hours to see the speaker) gathered to learn about empowerment and motivation. We learned about a golden key and if it can unlock the doors to our personal freedom to stutter. We learned that we do have a choice: to make a day a great one, or a terrible one, and to impart that (or not) on others. But most importantly, we learned that we are unique and special.
I will never forget key moments at this presentation. At the NSA conference, we have an event called "Open Mike" where any teammate can come up and say what is on his/her mind. If they can only say their name, that's great. If they want to say how wonderful the conference is, that's encouraged. Not at one time did anyone have to feel prompted to get up. All of us did. One woman struggled so mightily and was breaking down in tears, but she continued doggedly until she said what she wanted to. That is not only awe-inspiring, but true power taken back from stuttering. Another teammate said that attending this workshop helped her with an "attitude adjustment" that she sorely needed. Another said that it was such an amazing experience to be in the presence of others who are so positive. A teammate who just graduated with her SLP degree stated how she's looking forward to working with clients and how great this event was. Not to mention of course that the student chapter of NSSLHA was co-sponsoring this event. These chapters are the future speech pathologists-they need to get involved with the NSA!
I chose to have this workshop in Washington, DC, not just because of the location (after all, it is central to so many cities and you can easily fly/drive/take a train there), but because to me, Washington DC symbolizes the chances to be who you are. To do what you want, to know that the opportunity exists and you can make a difference in your life or someone else's. I may be naive in some ways, but I do believe that people come to live (and work) in Washington because they believe in something bigger than themselves. That's the main reason why I joined the National Stuttering Association, and why I love helping other teammates become stronger and resilient when facing challenges in their life.
Before I left to take Amtrak home from Union Station, I did something that I am very proud of. I took the Metro to the Smithsonian station, and walked to the Jefferson Memorial. Climbing the top steps, and standing in front of Jefferson's statue, I saw myself transported back to the early days of this country, when a brave few dared to stand up and make a difference. At that moment, I realized that on my worst day when I stutter significantly, to me, life is beautiful. I leaned back and yelled "I love life!" as loudly as I could. Yes, I know some stared at me, and I may have drawn the wrong kind of attention. But it's true. When you stutter, life is BEAUTIFUL. Don't ever let an NSA teammate tell you it's not.
My name is Steven Kaufman and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
What drives YOU?
Good evening everyone,
I hope this blog finds everyone doing well and enjoying their memories of Memorial Day 2009. I thought I'd start this blog with a question asked to many different people-not just athletes, elected officials, or my NSA teammates, but to all in general, and that is....what drives YOU?
I thought I'd discuss this because on Sunday I had an interesting experience. I will be attending the American Institute of Stuttering's Gala on June 8, and as I was at MW Tux getting fitted, I noticed the salesman staring incessantly at his watch, no doubt wanting to leave. When I asked him about it, he nonchalantly said, "These days, that's what drives me." You see, ask anyone that question, and it wouldn't be surprising you'll get a plethora of answers. For some, it's watching the workday tick down until they can escape their cubicle. For others, it's the rush of adrenaline, the sequence of opening and closing a deal...for an attorney, winning a big case and earning justice for someone who was wronged. But if you want to know what drives me, it's my love and desire for the National Stuttering Association and wanting to help them achieve all the successes we can, working with those who stutter.
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of reading "Intelligence for Your Life" by John Tesh. I just started listening to his radio show a few months ago. He used to host "Entertainment Tonight" and was well-known for his celebrity interviews, until he decided to pursue his own passion for broadcasting, leading to his show, described as "life coaching on the radio." In one of the chapters, he talks about finding your passion and how to achieve success through that. In one one of his early projects, he recorded music for fans of the Tour de France, and despite rejections from the record companies, continued on, even buying advertisement time on CBS with his credit card. And he even admitted he did not have any type of marketing degree. He states that the passion will eventually reveal itself, it's just a matter of time.
I guess in my high school and college years, my passion was writing. I love to write and I'm very expressive with the pen. Unfortunately, I don't do much of that now, but this blog allows me to use a "mental pen" if you will. In some ways, my darkest hours of my life led to my brightest passion of all, to work with the National Stuttering Association. That isn't going away, because I won't let it. Plain and simple, without passion, nothing in life is worth doing. Sometimes the hardest lessons are learned after the fact, but consider this....it also opens up avenues to which we never knew existed.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
I hope this blog finds everyone doing well and enjoying their memories of Memorial Day 2009. I thought I'd start this blog with a question asked to many different people-not just athletes, elected officials, or my NSA teammates, but to all in general, and that is....what drives YOU?
I thought I'd discuss this because on Sunday I had an interesting experience. I will be attending the American Institute of Stuttering's Gala on June 8, and as I was at MW Tux getting fitted, I noticed the salesman staring incessantly at his watch, no doubt wanting to leave. When I asked him about it, he nonchalantly said, "These days, that's what drives me." You see, ask anyone that question, and it wouldn't be surprising you'll get a plethora of answers. For some, it's watching the workday tick down until they can escape their cubicle. For others, it's the rush of adrenaline, the sequence of opening and closing a deal...for an attorney, winning a big case and earning justice for someone who was wronged. But if you want to know what drives me, it's my love and desire for the National Stuttering Association and wanting to help them achieve all the successes we can, working with those who stutter.
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of reading "Intelligence for Your Life" by John Tesh. I just started listening to his radio show a few months ago. He used to host "Entertainment Tonight" and was well-known for his celebrity interviews, until he decided to pursue his own passion for broadcasting, leading to his show, described as "life coaching on the radio." In one of the chapters, he talks about finding your passion and how to achieve success through that. In one one of his early projects, he recorded music for fans of the Tour de France, and despite rejections from the record companies, continued on, even buying advertisement time on CBS with his credit card. And he even admitted he did not have any type of marketing degree. He states that the passion will eventually reveal itself, it's just a matter of time.
I guess in my high school and college years, my passion was writing. I love to write and I'm very expressive with the pen. Unfortunately, I don't do much of that now, but this blog allows me to use a "mental pen" if you will. In some ways, my darkest hours of my life led to my brightest passion of all, to work with the National Stuttering Association. That isn't going away, because I won't let it. Plain and simple, without passion, nothing in life is worth doing. Sometimes the hardest lessons are learned after the fact, but consider this....it also opens up avenues to which we never knew existed.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The revenge of the fallen...not just about "Tranformers"....
Good evening everyone,
It's good to be back among the land of the living tonight..now that I can finally breathe again, as my cold is gone. For tonight's blog, I wanted to draw on a recent movie trailer I saw as a few days ago, I went to see "Star Trek" in IMAX at the Cradle of Aviation in Garden City. And before the film started, I saw the trailer for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." And it is a perfect transition to a posting I featured for National Stuttering Awareness Week: "You don't need to be Optimus Prime or Starscream to TRANSFORM yourself, it starts with the right attitude."
For so many years after my college graduation, I too had felt fallen in every aspect of my life-missed opportunities for socialization. A true relationship with my family, instead the arguments and screaming matches taking place where I felt that because of my speech I was misunderstood. No matter how long I tried, I just felt the same result was inevitable. The spinning of wheels, going nowhere fast. Everyone else was moving up....and I was just plunging downward, into a spiral from perhaps there may have been no escape.
The world sometimes seems like a cruel place, and is that ever true. Sometimes I felt like going through the motions, and questioning my identity-am I really a person who stutters? Maybe there's something wrong with me. Or maybe yet God decided to give me this stutter so I can do something with my life. I just felt I had too many questions, and not enough answers. And the more I tried to examine it, the more angrier I got.
At each point in our lives, we have moments where our anger turns us into people we don't recognize. It's the same fury, that same outrage that can turn against us, and threaten everything we are, and what we want to do. For many years in my twenties, I was that person-and it showed everywhere I went, and through everything I did. I couldn't even bring myself to smile. All my life was raw pain, and I was determined to inflict it on everyone else possible-if I couldn't be fluent, then I wouldn't let anyone else be either. In some sick, perverse way, you actually feed off of it, and it's the worst feeling in the world-all it does is make you more isolated than you were to begin with.
It was because of this anger that I too lost something that couldn't be replaced-I had begun dating a woman who really accepted me for me, and I was too blind (or maybe naive) to realize it. Eventually, that relationship deteriorated, and among other factors, it was because she had stated I had refused to rise above blaming others for the fact I stutter. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative, especially about their speech.
In many ways, my "revenge", if you will, took place at the National Stuttering Association conference in Long Beach, Calif. I learned how to channel my hurt and anger, and give it a positive voice. I met teammates who live life to the fullest, embracing their speech and doing. Let me say that again: DOING. One word, and to some, it's a simple one. But never estimate the power it can give you. I was fallen...but not anymore.
I will always have my good days and bad days. Today I was talking to my brother and blocking on the word "Washington" (damn those W's LOL) and when he chimed in, I focused clearly on the word, and said what needed to be said-I don't care if he felt the need to finish my sentence. No one is going to do that for me, because I won't let them.
I hope for those who feel "fallen," your "revenge" comes soon: and the best way to do that is to get involved with the National Stuttering Association. Every day I am so thankful I did.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
It's good to be back among the land of the living tonight..now that I can finally breathe again, as my cold is gone. For tonight's blog, I wanted to draw on a recent movie trailer I saw as a few days ago, I went to see "Star Trek" in IMAX at the Cradle of Aviation in Garden City. And before the film started, I saw the trailer for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." And it is a perfect transition to a posting I featured for National Stuttering Awareness Week: "You don't need to be Optimus Prime or Starscream to TRANSFORM yourself, it starts with the right attitude."
For so many years after my college graduation, I too had felt fallen in every aspect of my life-missed opportunities for socialization. A true relationship with my family, instead the arguments and screaming matches taking place where I felt that because of my speech I was misunderstood. No matter how long I tried, I just felt the same result was inevitable. The spinning of wheels, going nowhere fast. Everyone else was moving up....and I was just plunging downward, into a spiral from perhaps there may have been no escape.
The world sometimes seems like a cruel place, and is that ever true. Sometimes I felt like going through the motions, and questioning my identity-am I really a person who stutters? Maybe there's something wrong with me. Or maybe yet God decided to give me this stutter so I can do something with my life. I just felt I had too many questions, and not enough answers. And the more I tried to examine it, the more angrier I got.
At each point in our lives, we have moments where our anger turns us into people we don't recognize. It's the same fury, that same outrage that can turn against us, and threaten everything we are, and what we want to do. For many years in my twenties, I was that person-and it showed everywhere I went, and through everything I did. I couldn't even bring myself to smile. All my life was raw pain, and I was determined to inflict it on everyone else possible-if I couldn't be fluent, then I wouldn't let anyone else be either. In some sick, perverse way, you actually feed off of it, and it's the worst feeling in the world-all it does is make you more isolated than you were to begin with.
It was because of this anger that I too lost something that couldn't be replaced-I had begun dating a woman who really accepted me for me, and I was too blind (or maybe naive) to realize it. Eventually, that relationship deteriorated, and among other factors, it was because she had stated I had refused to rise above blaming others for the fact I stutter. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative, especially about their speech.
In many ways, my "revenge", if you will, took place at the National Stuttering Association conference in Long Beach, Calif. I learned how to channel my hurt and anger, and give it a positive voice. I met teammates who live life to the fullest, embracing their speech and doing. Let me say that again: DOING. One word, and to some, it's a simple one. But never estimate the power it can give you. I was fallen...but not anymore.
I will always have my good days and bad days. Today I was talking to my brother and blocking on the word "Washington" (damn those W's LOL) and when he chimed in, I focused clearly on the word, and said what needed to be said-I don't care if he felt the need to finish my sentence. No one is going to do that for me, because I won't let them.
I hope for those who feel "fallen," your "revenge" comes soon: and the best way to do that is to get involved with the National Stuttering Association. Every day I am so thankful I did.
My name is Steven Kaufman, and I am a person who stutters. Until next time, stand up and be counted. Make your voice heard.
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