tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post9047528630324823921..comments2023-12-04T05:50:34.447-08:00Comments on Steven on Stuttering....: How do you feel about stuttering and dating?Steven Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08430589015907674947noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-84286524142694220012013-12-03T07:14:44.010-08:002013-12-03T07:14:44.010-08:00My story on stuttering and dating (English is not ...My story on stuttering and dating (English is not my mother tongue):<br />Countless, really countless rejections. I was rejected instantly or at the first date (there was no second one). I had even problems of finding MALE friends (just friends, I am not a gay), how about a romantic relationship?<br />I followed a "head-on" approach: I just talked to the girl I liked.<br />I tried everything, going to organized trips, tennis lessons, dance lessons, clus, discos, seminars, church gatherings, pre-defined dates.<br />I even tried dating foreign (non-Greek, immigrant) girls. I got rejected by Russian, Pole and Serbian girls too.<br />I do not want to brag, but apart from my stuttering, some of these girls were FAR worse than me in physical appearance, education, wealth, abilities or manners.<br />The only "successes" was two girls with obesity problems (not just fat) but the relationships ended because of my initiative. I just realized that I cannot tolerate obesity.<br />The more frustrating were the univesity years (I studied civil engineering) witnessing other students freely getting in and out of relations easily and constantly.<br />My first sex experiences was with prostitutes. Hopefully some of them were good professionals.<br />Finally I tried internet dating. I had a subscription to three internet dating sites. After maybe 20 failures (no second date) I met F. in a blind date.<br />She was reasonably good.<br />I was in a exceptionally good day regarding speech when in our first date. It followed a second one and finally, in my 32 years, I got a real kiss.<br />We got married and now we have a lovely baby.<br />Dating for a stutterer IS a "frustration game":<br />YES, you will be rejected over and over and over again and the reason will be your "weird" speech and we all know how much women dislike weird things and guys.<br />But if you try hard enough the improbable will be an almost certain possibility but don't wait for Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie relationships.<br />Try to be good at other parts of you, physique, dressing, manners, education etc. and IMHO don't start havily with statements like "my hobby is involvement with the NSA nation".<br /><br />Regards and good luck<br />P.K. (mild to severe stutter)<br />Greece<br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11290546190920649089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-90096557461349426112013-07-10T08:58:31.041-07:002013-07-10T08:58:31.041-07:00Good blog Steven. Your guilty of only one mistake ...Good blog Steven. Your guilty of only one mistake walking away from the date who made a passing comment about cosmopolitan. As someone who has a moderate stammer and just turned 40 I will say we should be proud of who we are and to HELL WITH THOSE WHO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT. <br /><br />In my teens I was very conscious and impatient with the 2 sessions of speech therapy, but after a while I thought, this is me I will just have to try to practice breathing and not take to heart people who want to make fun, I even started laughing at myself. <br /><br />In terms of dating do not make it an issue and try not to be self conscious, it will get better with time. I do agree with you and Vanizorc about more awareness should be made about it. Some of the most confident people I have met in my life are stammerers and it took me a while to realize it. As an inspiration especially those with a christian background Moses was a stammerer and had to talk sometimes even though his brother Aron was on hand. Men and women who have a problem dating stammerers pity them rather than resent them. In fact if I had to come to this life again I will still come as a stammerer. Once again it gets better with age, learning to control speech, breathing, word substitution and getting comfortable with pausing. Keep up the good work on this blog Steven.Gerardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02881467400909185882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-28077265115866096582013-03-18T16:37:16.956-07:002013-03-18T16:37:16.956-07:00As someone who also stutters (moderately/severely)...As someone who also stutters (moderately/severely), I know how terrible the dating game can be for people with our disorder. Firstly, the general public is generally clueless about speech disabilities when compared to what laypeople usually know about other disabilities, like blindness or deafness. I've had people say that they simply can't date someone who cannot verbally communicate, which is incredibly hurtful because I do try, with all my might, to communicate verbally with a text-to-speech device. These people have said that they prefer a human voice over an electronic one, and I'm just at a loss because I can't do anything about it. Sometimes I think I'd rather be paraplegic instead, because at least more people seem to understand and sympathize with people who are in wheelchairs.<br /><br />As a 22-year old woman, I see all my peers around me on campus in relationships, and mingling with new people and starting new friendships, etc... All of which is difficult for me because having a communication disability is so incredibly isolating. I've even thought of suicide in past, but have come to realize how ridiculous this would be. Our only hope for lessening the burden cast upon us stutterers is to raise more public consciousness about this condition, and perhaps encourage more (positive) portrayals of people/characters in the media who stutter.vanizorchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09990142331461433107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-22501195479189591632013-03-18T16:33:05.007-07:002013-03-18T16:33:05.007-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.vanizorchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09990142331461433107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-46517106161257621692013-03-18T16:29:29.798-07:002013-03-18T16:29:29.798-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.vanizorchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09990142331461433107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-86810446823237234602012-02-09T07:43:49.804-08:002012-02-09T07:43:49.804-08:00Hi steve,
I just wanted to thank you for writin...Hi steve, <br /> <br />I just wanted to thank you for writing something so honest and so true. <br /><br /> I have been dating my soon to be husband for three years and he stutters. We met as bandmates in college and it began as a friendship. While for some people stuttering is a deal breaker, for me it never was. I guess it all depends on the person. But i have faced moments when people make fun of my boyfriend right in front of me; the worst feeling ever..but nothing compared to what he might be feeling. <br /><br />I hope you find someone who can see you as a complete person and love you without conditions. As I have loved my boyfriend all these years.ArwenLynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596056027257726849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-69723983793950799902010-01-05T04:52:12.186-08:002010-01-05T04:52:12.186-08:00nice post again, but the verdict is not mentioned ...nice post again, but the verdict is not mentioned very clearly. is it okay to disclose that you stutter or not? please jury, answer this very honestly. i really wish to see an answer other than the ubiquitous "depends" :)Manoharhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03487754631484785567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-41613727441131455862009-12-06T11:23:59.691-08:002009-12-06T11:23:59.691-08:00you seem like a very sincere and sweet man! i woul...you seem like a very sincere and sweet man! i would hope the woman from your cosmopolitan story was trying to be light hearted and not mean, but i can empathize, and i can see how it could hurt you. i really hope you find someone who deserves you.tiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06002901778926987408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-51339389383646864272009-12-05T09:03:49.288-08:002009-12-05T09:03:49.288-08:00First, I want to say I think your post is very hon...First, I want to say I think your post is very honest and appreciate that. I think you have to do what you feel most comfortable with. However, I have a question for you, is stuttering who you are or just a way you speak? For ex: I know that you have a great sense of humor and love the Yankees. Don't forget about your other great qualities. People are wary of internet dating and when they see someone talking about an organization it makes them nervous because they don't know you and it sounds like excess baggage or at least that is what my friends and I used to call it in our dating days. Don't give up and you will find someone who will appreciate you for all your great qualities.Lori Melnitskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05735237964262097447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5302870823102468142.post-87045825792959115602009-12-04T04:57:50.600-08:002009-12-04T04:57:50.600-08:00Gracias
Buen artículoGracias<br />Buen artículoLionel Messihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13328727096215198409noreply@blogger.com